Day 997 - Feb 20, 2011

We had a really good day today. We went to a place called Enchanted Springs Ranch and had a blast. Dad didn't go because he wasn't feeling well and Kevin didn't intend to go, but then he changed his mind just as we were walking out the door. Here are some pics from today:





While we were there I had Kevin arrested. It was so funny! Here are some photos of that:





After we went to the ranch, we all met up and went to dinner (Breezy and Chris too) and here are just a couple of photos from there:




And then we came home and took some pics. Truthfully, some of these are from all week, but I just got around to uploading them.










Lots of pics tonight as I don't have much to say. We really enjoyed this place though so if anyone is ever in the SA area, you should check it out. I think it's on Oprah's list of wackiest attractions too.

I'm really glad Kevin went. He enjoyed himself so much!

Day 996 - Feb 19, 2011

Yay! Moe made it here today! I picked her up at the airport this evening and then we came home and ate a huge turkey dinner.

Unfortunately, she has been sick for the last few days so she went up to her room and crashed pretty early.

Downstairs another night of rowdy games of UNO ensued. This family is so competitive, lol. I don't know how Moe slept through it really as everyone is insulting and playfully screaming at each other the whole time, but she did, hehe.

That's pretty much all that happened today so I am going to sign off early.

Before I do though - Sally - I am so anxious to hear how the 9/11 Flag Ceremony went. I am so happy that you were able to put a stitch in the flag in Kevin's name! Thank you!!

Day 995 - Feb 18, 2011

Today I went with the polytrauma doctor from the VA and our case-manager to the two transitional facilities that are between here and Austin.

The first one that we went to was ResCare Premiere in San Marcos. This place had a more homey feel as Kevin would start out living with two other guys in a duplex. He would learn how to pretty much be self-sufficient; from riding a shuttle to his doctor's appts by himself, to going to a restaurant and ordering his own food, to possibly paying his own bills, to cooking and everything in between.

This one is in a college town with lots of things to do for someone Kevin's age. It had an upbeat and energetic feel to it and as soon as they told me that the guys were going fishing this afternoon and then to Hooters for dinner - I knew Kevin would like it here, lol.

The second place was CORE in Austin and it was totally different than ResCare. This place was rustic with open fields and farm animals abundant. It was more structured and didn't focus on actual reintegration into society as much as the other place did. I felt this one more focused on therapies and schedules and it had a slight nursing home feel to it.

I can't say that I disliked CORE, but I don't think it's a good fit for Kevin. I do feel that someone different than Kevin could do very well there, but truly - ResCare just seems like a place he can have FUN at and that has to be what life is about as much as possible.

So as soon as I got home and mentioned Hooters to Kevin - he was in, lol. Yep - a typical 22 year old male. Truly, he is open to going now and when I mentioned that the guys went to a gym and worked out he pointed to himself as if to ask "Me too?". He seems excited about it and I just hope it stays that way. I so want him to go out and do things on his own. He does too. When I told him he would be taught to take the shuttle to BAMC all by himself his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He was beside himself in excitement.

So now it's up to funding to see how this will work with us running back and forth to Pittsburgh. We aren't sure if he can be admitted within the next couple of weeks or if we should wait until after the procedure in April as we will be gone for up to three weeks. We will know more about that next week when everyone get back to work on Tuesday.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Day 994 - Feb 17, 2011

We had a good day today. We just basically stayed home and visited with my mom and dad. I did spend a few hours on the phone with various medical people and a good bit of that was with the folks up at UPMC in Pittsburgh. It looks like we will be going up to Pittsburgh somewhere around March 14th for Kevin's initial screening. That visit will be for 4 days and then we go back up at the end of April for the actual procedure. That visit will be 2-3 weeks and it looks like we will be there through Easter. Kevin is very excited about this and I am still keeping my fingers crossed that he will be able to take part in it.

One really great thing that happened just a little bit ago is that Kevin told me his head isn't hurting as much as it used to. I can only guess that it's the acupuncture? He says that his head is always painful, but that it only hurts a little now. Wouldn't it just be so wonderful if ALL of his pain went away? Oh, I so hope that happens!

I am going to touch on just a few comments as I am waaaaayyyy behind:

Judy - it was great seeing you and thanks for explaining who Dorothy Lorigan was. Dan - I had no idea, lol. It's such a small world though, huh?

Hallie - I wish you and I could get together and just get a good drunk on. Of course, we'd probably both just be blubbering and bawling, lamenting about how life really does suck. I am so sorry about your new car too. Hope your husband is doing well. BTW, how did the stem cell eval go?

Miss Em - I haven't sat down with Kevin in any artistic fashion in a long time. I will have to get back to it. Thanks for reminding me!

Lisa D in Cali - I just finally got around to looking at the new Tony Hawk Shred game. That just might work and Kevin just might like it! I am so glad they have it for the Xbox. I will look for it next week while he is in the hospital. Moe - remind me, please (you know how dumb I am anymore, lol)

Mark (arctic rec0n) - Kevin's Xbox Live ID is die200O - the last O is the letter O and not a zero. To anyone else out there - find him - he'll love it. (and I know it's a gruesome ID, but he chose it years ago and he is who he is)

Bern - love you and miss you!

And now I need to get to bed. I have a busy day ahead of me. I don't think Kevin's going to let me sleep tonight, but I'm gonna try.

Day 993 - Feb 16, 2011

We went to therapy today and when they asked Kevin about us going to Pennsylvania, he got really quiet. He pretty much refused to do any therapy after that, but the therapists were very understanding about the grieving process.

We decided to just leave as he wouldn't do anything and he didn't speak the whole way home and then he just went into his room to rest for a while.

He did come out of his room for dinner and then a rowdy game of UNO ensued. He was feeling better after that and sat and watched some TV for a while.

I think I am going to sign off and get the dishwasher loaded and go to bed though. Everyone else is already sleeping - even Kevin - so I should be too.

Day 992 - Feb 15,2011

Today Kevin had another acupuncture appointment. So far we aren't really seeing a difference, but we are told it might take a while.

As we were leaving BAMC though, a man died on the curb of the drive for valet parking. Kevin and I watched them try to revive him for close to ten minutes before they finally got him on a stretcher and rushed him into the hospital. It was a sad thing to watch. Truthfully, I can't get the image out of my head of him just lying on the road with all of the trauma team members doing CPR. It's strange to live a life like we do in a hospital environment for the most part and not really ever see a dead person. I never thought about it until today and I honestly hope I never see anything like this again. His poor family...

But on a personal good note, I heard from the surgeon in Pittsburgh. Everyone involved feels Kevin will have no problem being admitted into the trial and that means we will head to the Burgh for a quick visit with the doctor sometime in the beginning of March. Six weeks after that we will head back to Pittsburgh for the actual procedure and that visit will be for about two weeks. We will also need to go back at the 3 (and 6 I think) and 9 month post op dates for re-evaluation. Apparently sometimes the fat is reabsorbed into the system so they evaluate periodically to see if that is occurring. We are both excited to give this a shot.

And my parents and Michael made it safely into town this afternoon. We had a nice dinner and then we all played cards for a while. I need to get some pics of them with Christian tomorrow. He's growing so fast and is already over 10 pounds and is 22 inches long.

And now I am off to bed. Kevin is watching a movie and hopefully it will keep him entertained until he falls asleep...

Day 991 - Feb 14, 2011

We made it back to Texas today and are gearing up for visitors over the next couple of weeks. My mom, dad and nephew are coming in tomorrow and Moe is coming on Saturday.

And I hate to do it again, but I'm going to sign off early tonight. It was a whirlwind of a weekend and I am beat. Kevin apparently is too, because he is already snoring the night away.

Day 990 - Feb 13, 2011

I'm not really going to write much tonight, but I am going to post some photos from last night and today:

These first two are my sister and her kids:




This next bunch is of the family - all of the aunts uncles and if I'm not mistaken all but one of Kevin's cousins:







The next two are of Kevin with his grandmother:




And this last is of Moe and her family. They came down to the hotel and we all went to dinner tonight:



The service today was very moving. And Kevin did a fantastic job again. I'm glad we came - it did him a world of good and it was nice for me to see everyone again too.

Day 989 - Feb 12, 2011

Kevin had a great time today seeing all of his cousins, his grandma and his aunts and uncles. He remembered everybody that was close to him when he was young and he handled seeing Fred very well. He did get a little teary, but I was actually glad to see that.

And Kevin really did do fantastic all day. No over-stimulation at all. We got there at maybe 1:45 this afternoon and were there until a bit after 9pm tonight. He talked with everybody and hugged and shook hands all day long. I was quite proud of him. I just wish Breezy could have been here too, but the timing just didn't work for her and Christian.

So after we left, my sister and her family all came down to the hotel for a quick visit. It was nice seeing everyone and I'm glad she could make it down. I took some pics tonight, but I'll upload them in a couple of days.

Unfortunately - to everyone else - it's just not going to be possible to visit with anybody this trip. We will be at the funeral all day tomorrow and we leave Monday to go back home. It's hard being here and not being able to visit, but hopefully we'll be back over the summer sometime.

Day 988 - Feb 11, 2011

Kevin and I did end up making it to PA with the help of Veteran's Airlift Command. They were so wonderful in purchasing the airline tickets for me to take Kevin to Fred's funeral. Brianna decided not to come as Christian is just so new to the world and she didn't want him getting sick.

So, we have been traveling all day - just now getting to the hotel - and I am signing off and going to bed.

Day 987 - Feb 10, 2011

Well we went to see the plastic surgeon today to start the process of fixing the indentation in Kevin's head. Apparently the process of taking fat from a person's belly and injecting it into their head is a relatively new and the DOD (Dept of Defense) is doing a study right now to monitor the effects.

We are hoping that Kevin will be accepted into the trial and it appears that he should be a perfect candidate. One great thing? The study is being done in Pittsburgh! Yes, if Kevin is accepted, we will be heading to the Burgh for the procedure and subsequent monitoring.

I don't know anything else about it yet, but maybe I'll hear from the surgeon in PA tomorrow. Please keep your fingers crossed - it is the best non-invasive technique available - even if it is still new.

Kevin also had acupuncture while we were at BAMC today and we are going to continue it on a weekly basis for a while to see if it really helps him. I was surprised Kevin wanted to try it again because he said it made his head hurt more the last time. So far, so good, today though.

We also got the call that Kevin's new brace was already done so we drove to the VA hospital after we left BAMC and picked it up. Kev is struggling a little bit with it yet, but I think it's just gonna take a couple of days to get used to the bulkier feel of it.

And to end, from reading the comment from Tim/Beth on the blog yesterday, sadly it appears that Kevin's grandfather has passed away. Kevin is very sad and has talked about it numerous times today. We haven't spoken to anybody about it (None of my or Kevin's contact information has changed and my email is at the side of the blog so I'm not sure why you couldn't contact us privately?), but I am hoping we are told of the funeral arrangements. I am unsure if I can get Kevin up there in time, but we would at least like to send flowers.

Day 986 - Feb 9, 2011

I am going to skip tonight. We have to get up very early for an appointment with the plastic surgeon that will be working on Kevin and I am going to force myself to get some sleep.

Day 985 - Feb 8, 2011

I was thinking that I had explained the transitional facility idea to you guys, but after the one comment I realized that I hadn't.

So this place will NOT be a permanent home for Kevin by any means. It is transitional - meaning it helps a patient transition to a normal living environment. Now admittedly, Kevin pretty much lives a normal life, but I guess this place would make him more independent.

In this place, he will have speech 5 days a week to help him to talk better. I understand he will learn how to deal with emergencies, how to fend for himself to the best of his ability. I don't know for sure if they teach him how to cook and clean up after himself, but I believe it's part of the agenda too.

We have no way of knowing at this point how long Kevin would need to be at this place. It could be a few weeks or it could be a year. Frankly, he has to agree to it or it's just not going to work anyway, but it's something that could make such a difference to his life.

Truthfully, I already think I do the bulk of teaching him all of these things, but the VA is concerned that I am requesting more help with Kevin. I don't think they are understanding that having someone come to the house is more about getting Kevin companionship - even though it helps me too.

And they seem to think that Kevin has me running errands constantly, but a lot of the times that he calls me is because he is excited about something on tv or that he just remembered or whatever. It's him TALKING. I mean...who else's name is he gonna call? I'm the only person here. And honestly - if he wasn't talking to me then he would just be lying in bed depressed. (not that this makes it any easier to hear the word "MOM" screamed all day and night, but I do understand WHY he does it)

Sometimes I don't think they have a real grasp on what Kevin can do and already does either. But, I know that's one of the reasons they want him to go into the hospital in a few weeks. It's still not going to give a clear picture as they won't be at our house watching him do the things he does, but at least they will get a better picture of how much he understands.

I guess I will just keep my eyes open and see what I think of these two places. Like I said, they really need to be a good fit for Kev anyway. I would never force him to do it because it would ruin the relationship we have. Respect is of the utmost importance in this family - I respect my kids and will always listen to their wants/needs. Not that I won't argue my point if I disagree, but still...

Day 984 - Feb 7, 2011

Today we went over to the VA hospital to have a cast done of Kevin's right foot/leg so that a new brace can be made. They believe if his ankle is supported his knee won't hyper-extend any longer. I sure hope they're right.

In the interim they gave him a knee brace hoping that it will help until the new one is made. They are also discussing an electro-stimulation device that may help his nervous system remember what it needs to do, effectively reminding the muscles, et al. Truthfully, I believe they are planning to do the Bioness for both his arm and his leg. I have heard nothing but good things of this so I am excited about it.

We had tried it previously if you remember. It was a long time ago at the VA in Tampa, but the person testing it on Kevin turned it up too high and he screamed in agony. He would never try it again until now - another sign that he understands so much more these days.

We have also decided to wean Kevin off of the Lyrica and put him on another nerve pain medication that doesn't affect your weight so much. I sure hope that helps as Kevin is really putting the weight on and it needs to stop. He's gotten too heavy for me to lift if something happens and he falls.

And next week a few of us are taking a road trip to visit two transitional facilities in the area. There's CORE in Austin and ResCare Premier in San Marcos (both in TX). I will be leaving Kevin with my parents for the day while we go check them out as I don't want to take him to one that's a bad fit for him and he doesn't remain open to the need for it.

Of course I am quite nervous about it, but I do think it's pretty close to time for him to take that next step. We just have to get this leg business taken care of first and he is also going to be having more plastic surgery right quick.

I'm sure these places take time and lots of paperwork to get into so I think it's a good idea to scope them out now though. If anyone out there has firsthand knowledge of either of these places, I would love to hear about it.

And that's pretty much it for tonight so I'll catch y'all tomorrow...

Day 983 - Feb 6, 2011

We had a very lazy day today. We just putzed around, watched some tv and then Kevin watched the game. I half tuned in, but it's not something that can hold my attention long. It's a shame the Steelers lost though.

So last night I saw Kevin do something new. He had to actually log in to Facebook and he amazingly typed his email - only missing the @ sign (he had put a dot there and when I showed him the @ sign he said 'duh' because he remembered). He also typed his password in.

And then tonight he was searching for a movie and typed the first three letters into the search box and then saw rather quickly what he was looking for. I think I just stood there dumbfounded as I had no idea that he could do that now. I remember a month or so ago trying to show him how to type KEVIN on the keyboard and he couldn't really do that. I remember it taking forever for him to look for each letter on the keyboard and he just whaled (sp) through typing it out last night. Aflippinmazing, huh?

I guess I should say that if you are a friend of his on FB, gosh knows if he will write something or if it will make sense or be spelled right. I'm not complaining because at least he's trying, but I'm just throwing it out there because I'm not sure how much he can do.

I wonder if this will be part of the neuro-psych testing? I need to find the time to research what this testing is like before Kevin goes into the hospital.

And speaking of Kev - he's calling me so I guess I'll end here...

Day 982 - Feb 5, 2011

Today Breezy came over and stayed with Kevin while I went out with a couple of friends that were in town for the weekend. I had a great time, and I am guessing that Kevin did too playing with Christian.

I managed to snap some pictures tonight:







Honestly, don't I just have the cutest little family?

So anyway, nothing much really happened for me to talk about today. I guess I'll just sign off.

Day 981 - Feb 4, 2011

We finally made it home. What a ride though, let me tell ya'. It just poured the first half of the way and then it turned to ice. In the wee hours of the morning, after seeing a few accidents within a few miles and sliding a little bit myself, we decided to stop and get a room. I am so glad we did, because IH 10 was closed from Houston down and many parts of it were still closed when we left at noon today.

But...we're home. I managed to get the house scrubbed down and then Kevin and I babysat Christian so that Breezy and Chris could go out with Chris' parents as they are in town from New York this week.

And now this exhausted girl is going to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open.

Day 979 - Feb 2, 2011

We didn't really do much today. I had to run to the DMV as both of our handicap placards somehow blew out of the car? Don't ask me - but they both have been missing for a good couple of months now.

We had another huge family dinner and then Kevin, Johnny and Josh (Chrissy's husband) all went to a Grand Prix Go-Cart type of place. From what I gather - they all had a lot of fun. They did admit they had trouble getting Kevin back out of the go-kart, but they still had fun.

It was a nice, yet quick, trip home, but sadly we need to hit the road tomorrow. I think I am just going to skip tomorrow night as we are going to try to drive straight through. We may not be able to - it really depends on Kevin being able to handle it, but we are going to give it a shot.

That being said - we'll catch ya Friday night!

Day 978 - Feb 1, 2011

It's been such a whirlwind week. We were planning on heading back to TX tomorrow, but we decided to wait an extra day because of the storm that is wreaking havoc across the US. It's also so nice here and who wants to head back to SA when it's really cold there, lol?

So yesterday, my mom, Johnnie and I all went over to show Johnnie the beach on the FL side of the gulf. (Yes, Johnnie came with us as he's like part of the family now, lol. He is also helping with the driving). Kevin had no desire to go and I didn't force the issue because I knew there would be a lot of walking and he's just not up to it right now.

Truthfully, I think it was really good for all of us to get out like we did. My mom is my dad's caregiver now and she rarely gets out so it was nice to see her smile and have fun. Johnny works a LOT at his different jobs so it was nice seeing him relax too. Gosh knows I need it so it was an all around good day for the three of us.

Kevin stayed home with Pap (my dad) and I guess they had a nice time talking and relaxing by the pool.

Today, I went and picked up the new van and then we all hung out at the house. Chrissy and her husband, Josh, came over and she is just so cute pregnant. All of the kids swam and had a good time and then the boys went out with my sister tonight while I stayed home and played cards with my folks. Another good day.

Day 977 - Jan 31, 2011

I am going to skip again tonight. It was a beautiful day here and we took advantage and spent the bulk of it outdoors. Everyone is fast asleep - except me and Kevin, but I am going to see if he'll let me sleep too.

Day 976 - Jan 30, 2011

This is the blog's 1000th post. Unbelievable, huh? Who would have thought I would still be writing three years later (it was started before Kevin was deployed) and that it would become such an interactive site. I am glad as to how it turned out because I think the bulk of the readers are pretty fantastic and I have enjoyed getting to know so many of you.

I have been toying with setting up a message forum lately though (the blog would still stay and be posted to). Would anybody be interested in this? It won't really be about Kevin - it would just be those that want to "talk" with each other talking. I think that a lot of you seem to really play off of each other and many friendships could be made. It's just a thought really...

And I just looked back at the previous posts because I realized I never mentioned the change in plans that occurred. My parents didn't come to TX because we ended up having to come to FL. We are only here a couple of days and my parents changed their flight to the 15th of February so that they can still come see Christian.

We are here to trade the van in for a brand new one. We were offered an incredible deal - the new van is costing Kevin less than a dollar - literally - and I couldn't see passing it up. There are just so many rebates right now that it worked to our advantage. Oddly enough, our insurance even went down by $14 a month?! I sure don't understand that, but they said something about a new car discount. Really, you have to love USAA for insurance needs.

And now I am going to bed. It's early, but I am exhausted!

Day 975 - Jan 29, 2011

The meeting yesterday went pretty well, but I am still so skeptical that things will really work out. I know I came across like a witch, but I am so tired of people saying they are going to do something and then never getting the job done. Why waste everyone's time? Particularly mine?

So I guess there's nothing they can do within the VA for more help at home. We are supposed to find some organizations that will send people out to spend time with Kevin, but I am not sure exactly how that works out. It's not like I am going to allow a stranger to take Kevin to therapy or anything like that. It takes time for both Kevin and myself to trust someone for activities and things like that.

We did decide to admit Kevin to the hospital for 3 days in a few weeks where he will have extensive neuro-psych testing done to see how much he really does understand. At that time, they will also work on different therapies and send him to the gait clinic to help him learn to walk better.

I have decided to stay away from the hospital those three days completely. Yes, I am taking a break. Even better, he is going into the hospital the last part of the week that Moe is coming to visit. This will give me some time to spend with Moe and really take a breather. I talked to Johnnie and he agreed to check in on Kevin those few days for me and I'm sure Breezy will too. Now we just have to hope that I really can stay away. I really intend to because I so desperately need a little down time, but it's just really hard for me to trust anybody.

We discussed quite a few more things but I think I will hold off on those for a bit. I am a little tired and want to go veg for a bit.

Before I do though - and this is said lovingly (with no snark whatsoever) toward our loyal readers - FORGET THE DOG THING, lol! Honestly - it is just NOT gonna happen. To put it bluntly, I have given up everything for my son. I will bust my butt to get him better. But I will never in a million years live with a dog in the house. I can't stress enough how much I dislike dogs. Animals, really. But I did break down and get Kevin a cat a while ago, remember? Well, that thing drove me nuts. It was just more responsibility on an already heaping plate and it meowed constantly. Nope. No Dogs. NONE!

Love that y'all suggested it though. I do appreciate you thinking about Kevin, but for once since Kevin was wounded - my needs are coming first. And I need a dog free home.

(Now we'll see how many jokesters are out there, lol. Last time I said this I got a bunch of cards with puppies/dogs on them.)

Also, to clarify - in yesterday's photos, Christian is on the left in the first photo and that is also him in the last photo. My cousin's baby, Braeden (sp) is on the right in the top photo and we laughed that they both have the same outfit.

Day 974 - Jan 28, 2011

We had company yesterday. My cousin, Elizabeth, her husband and their new baby came over for the day. Two babies in the house made for a unique day, lol.

Here are some photos:






Such cuties, huh?

Today we had a meeting at the VA and it went pretty well. There is a whole bunch of stuff to say, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow night as I want to get to bed. Kevin is actually sleeping so I want to take advantage while I can.

Day 973 - Jan 27, 2011

Although I hate to do it, I am going to skip tonight. We have a meeting at the VA tomorrow and I want to compile my notes and then try to get some sleep.

Day 972 - Jan 26, 2011

Tonight I went to a support group of sorts. They meet once a month and there are both survivors of brain injury and loved ones/caregivers that go. Although I may or may not be hiding it from you guys - I am severely depressed. I think in part it's because I am just flat out exhausted. Only having help 15 hours a week is killing me both emotionally and physically. Kevin is just so much work.

I also seem to be crying at the drop of a hat lately too - mostly because we are nearing the third anniversary and moving into our fourth year and I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. There is no end to the round of therapies, procedures, doctor's visits, phone calls and battles anywhere on the horizon.

I wonder sometimes if I really have the strength to keep going.

Yesterday when Kevin was under anesthesia, I couldn't help but look at him and think of how tired I am of seeing my son hooked up to monitors, lying in a hospital bed, going through this procedure or having that surgery or going through any one of the million things that have happened to us since May 31 of 2008.

Will this ever end? EVER?

Because frankly - this life really sucks. For both Kevin and I. And Breezy too.

We are all still suffering so much. None of us have really dealt with what has happened to us - there hasn't been time to. We just keep 'wiping the sweat and driving on', but really - at some point shouldn't we be able to just sit down and rest? 'Cause I'm tired. And I know Kevin is too.

I really do try to come on here and be all positive all the time, but in reality - life isn't rosy. Kevin's life is really hard. And so is mine.

An example? I don't think I mentioned that Kevin had to quit walking around the neighborhood - something he was enjoying so much. His right knee is hyper-extending with each step he takes (meaning it's going too far back and pushing his muscle, tendons, etc. backward). He has been in so much pain and is back to using his wheelchair quite often now. He has always walked slow too, but now? Goodness, it hurts him so much he moves at a snail's pace.

Tonight he decided to try to walk to the mailbox though. I was shocked because he hasn't walked in weeks, but I told him to give it a shot. He did make it, but he called me on the way back and I had to run and get him. It's only two blocks away.

This breaks my heart.

It broke last night too when I was cooking dinner and Kevin grabbed his skateboard and decided to try to get on it in the living room. Obviously he fell and I had to turn the stove off and help him. He was so upset. He wants to skate so bad, but he just can't.

And it's just so sad to me that other than Ronnie, nobody calls him. He calls his old friends sometimes and they always have to hang up and they say they'll call him back, but they don't. Every time we go to the movies I tell him to turn his phone off and he always grunts and says 'WHY? Nobody calls'. He's right. Nobody does.

It's just all so heartbreaking to see him go through all of these hurts. And it's taking its toll on me. All of it is taking a toll on me.

I don't think I mentioned this, but when I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, he told me that if I didn't change my lifestyle I would be dead by the time I'm 50. So tell me, folks - how in the hell do I change it? What magic wand can I wave to make my son all better? Who can twinkle their nose and give us our lives back? Or better yet - where is the magic time machine that can take us back to the day before Kevin signed those papers to join the Army?

Day 971 - Jan 25, 2011

Kevin sailed through the Botox with flying colors! I was worried there for a bit though because we had to be at the hospital by 6:30 and everyone had been taken into their surgeries and we were still sitting there at 9:30. Nobody had even talked to us yet and Kevin was getting more and more angry. At about 9:10 he decided he was leaving. He was going to find a water fountain, take his pills (which he wasn't allowed to do) and he was going home. I chased him down and told him to give me five minutes. I then went to the admin and told her if they couldn't fit us in now, we needed to reschedule. She called upstairs and they said they would be right down for us.

I'm not really sure why it took so long. We didn't need an OR. We were just taken to a room in Burns ICU and the procedure was done right there. It took 15 minutes and it's crazy that we had to come in so early just to sit there and wait.

Ack! Well, at least Kevin did give them a few minutes to come down so we did manage to get through it and he did well. They gave him just enough anesthesia to get through it and we were able to wake him up about 15 minutes after it was all done and it was only maybe an hour later until we were able to go home.

But anyway, he did well and it's over for another three months. Yay!!

Day 970 - Jan 24, 2011

We spent the bulk of the day at BAMC today doing pre-admission tasks. I think we were there roughly four hours getting bloodwork done and talking to all the necessary people.

While there, I talked to the doc today about keeping the anesthesia at a minimum. Kev is only having conscious sedation, but I still asked them to keep it low until we see if he really needs it. Most people just have Botox injected in a doctor's office, but Kevin had a bad experience with it once and hasn't really been open to going without the anesthesia.

If he can do it with barely any 'help', then we won't have to go through all of this the next time.

After that, we just came home and both Kevin and I took a nap.

So tomorrow we have to leave at 5:45 AM. Yikes. That is gonna kill us both, lol. I think I am going to try and get to sleep though as we have to get up in a few hours.

Day 969 - Jan 23, 2011

We had a completely boring day today. We did nothing but lie around all day and watch tv. We have a pretty hectic week scheduled so it was really just what we needed to do to gear up for it.

I don't really have anything to say tonight so I think I'll sign off, but before I go...

HOW 'BOUT THEM STEELERS, EH?



I would lay odds that my friends fell off their chairs seeing what I just wrote because I am so not a football fan, lol!

Day 968 - Jan 22, 2011

Anita - thanks! The movie was Street Fighter! I forgot to mention it to Kevin until we were at Walmart tonight. He was looking for the movie, but couldn't find it. He did find a different movie with Jean Claude Van Damme though and that reminded me to mention the title and he was so excited that that was it. I am hoping to have Johnny take him to a CD Exchange this week and try to find one.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions!

And before I forget - to the anonymous person that left 2 vision therapists' info on the blog a couple of weeks back, I called both and neither do the type of therapy that we need. Thanks anyway though.

And to Debbie - I told Kevin that Josh said "HO, HO, HO" and he just grinned and grinned. He clearly remembers him.

And that's pretty much it for today so I am going to sign off and watch some tv.

Day 967 - Jan 21, 2011

Today we had to go to BAMC for a H&P (history and physical). Kevin is going in on Tuesday for a BOTOX treatment and we needed to be seen by a doctor first. We are supposed to go in on Monday for bloodwork, but I am going to try to sneak down over the weekend when it's not so busy. I was told there is a special lab you can go to after hours and get your blood drawn. It's worth a shot - Mondays are horrendous at BAMC.

So while we were there, it turns out that the UFC fighters were visiting so Kevin lined up with the guys and I snapped a picture with my phone:



After we left the hospital, we went over to the warrior family center and Kevin was very excited to see Gumby, lol:



After that we just came home and Breezy and Christian were here waiting for us. Mom and Baby are doing well. I will have to get some more photos tomorrow, but to end here is one from the other day:

Day 966 - Jan 20, 2011

We had a really nice visit with Joe last night. We haven't seen him in over a year because his loads have never brought him to San Antonio before yesterday. It's just such a shame he had to hit the road again early this morning though.

This afternoon I went to a meeting for Humor for Heroes to help the organization out with their next show at the end of February. I dropped Kevin off at Breezy's and he helped her with Christian until Johnny came and picked him up. This way he wouldn't have to sit at the meeting bored.

After the meeting I came home and made stromboli for dinner and then the boys retreated to Kevin's room. Kevin is trying to come up with a movie title that is from when he was younger and he thinks it has the word "FIGHT" in the title. I know it's not Fight Club, but if anyone has any suggestions, please throw them at me. I am at a total loss.

And that's really about it for today.

Day 965 - Jan 19, 2011

I am going to skip tonight because my brother-in-law, Joe, is here. He drives truck and is 'laid over' on the south side of town so we ran down, picked him up and brought him here to spend the night.

Catch y'all tomorrow!

Day 964 - Jan 18, 2011

Kevin, Johnny and I went to see the Green Hornet tonight at the movies. Now that was one excellent movie! I don't think any of us have laughed that hard in a long while - it was hilarious! And action-packed!

Other than that, we didn't really do much today. Johnny did take Kevin to pick up his new glasses though. I will have to get a photo of Kevin sporting his new look tomorrow. He looks so darn cute in glasses, lol.

And yay! My mom and dad are coming next week to visit. They are also bringing my nephew, Michael. Of course they are really coming to see Christian, but we all get to benefit from it, lol.

I think I'm going to sign off now and try to get some sleep. I'm pretty tired tonight.

Day 963 - Jan 17, 2011

We had a busy day today. First we went to therapy for a little PT and then we headed to Breezy's house to babysit so that she could run to the grocery store. At one point Christian started crying and I told Kevin to sing to him so he started singing Bohemian Rhapsody (the song he sang in the video a couple of weeks ago - yes...a very odd choice, lol). Christian loved it. He immediately got quiet and fell asleep pretty quickly after that.

Kevin is just utterly and completely enthralled by the little one. I guess you could say that I am too, lol.

After that, we quickly grabbed a sandwich for dinner and then went to Walmart to grab a few groceries.

A boring day to read about, I'm sure.

Day 962 - Jan 16, 2010

Although I tried my darnedest to keep Ronnie and Marissa here - they left today. What a bummer. Kevin was just so normal while they were here and it was so wonderful to see. I got so much done while they were here too - even the dreaded audit (yes - another one!).

Today we didn't do much of anything. It's been a busy week so we both kinda just lounged around the house doing a whole bunch of nothing. It's back to the grindstone tomorrow though, lol.

Day 961 - Jan 15, 2011

We had a great dinner tonight. The kids went to the movies this afternoon (still cold and rainy here) and I worked on organizing my scraproom and just cooking and then we all got together to eat.

We had some fun with Christian and took a few pictures, shot some video. After that, Breezy and family went home and Kevin, Ronnie and Marissa went out for the a couple of hours. They are downstairs watching a movie right now and I am scrapping.

I want to continue while the kids are busy, so I am just going to upload some pics and a couple of videos of the baby. What a cutie he is...

This is just Christian crying:



And here is Kevin holding Christian. You can barely hear Kevin, but he is saying Christian's name:



And here are some photos:

The first is all the kids:



And this is Christian sleeping in the crook of Kevin's arm:






You should have seen Kevin when Breezy had to go home. He was very upset and told her she could go, but that Christian couldn't. It was funny.

And now I am going back to scrapping.

Day 960 - Jan 14, 2011

Today the kids went out for a nice lunch and then they went to the movies. Unfortunately, it is rainy, cold and just nasty here. They were planning to go downtown and hit all of the tourist traps, but it's just too yucky here for them to do that. We are hoping they can go tomorrow, but it's not supposed to be any better.

So I guess they went to the movies after that and then goodness knows what they did.

I (and I'm sure this will come as no surprise, lol) went to the hospital and spent the afternoon/evening with my grandbaby. He is doing super and they are both to be released tomorrow sometime.

If all goes well, we are having a big dinner tomorrow and I will get some pictures. I have yet to take any of Kevin, Ronnie and Marissa and I have to do that for sure as they leave Sunday morning. I sure wish they could stay...such wonderful kids!

Day 959 - Jan 13, 2011

Wow! What a day!

So Kevin stood behind the doctor and watched Christian enter the world. I know that Chris was a little freaked out by this, but I told him we are part of the medical world and body parts are body parts and nothing more to the three of us nowadays.

Truthfully though, what an experience! I have to admit that three years ago I would have fainted seeing all that blood and yuk, but I am a lot different person now than I was then. And I can pretty much guarantee that Kevin would have never wanted to see his sister's privates, but we sure have all changed.

Oh and before I forget - Christian is 20 1/2 inches long.

So anyway, here are some photos:







And one of my favorites - this is Kevin and Breezy both crying over the miracle of Christian's birth:



Kevin did amazing! Breezy did amazing! I am just so dang proud of my children!

It's a boy, lol!

Yes! Christian was born at 4:40 this afternoon and weighs a whopping 8 lbs 4 oz! (don't know the length yet) There is so much to say and so many photos, but I wanted to quickly let you know that both mother and baby are fantastic! I will come back in a bit with the rest of the info.

Another update

Breezy is 10 cm dilated (sp), but the nurses are joking that Christian is holding onto her ribs refusing to drop down low enough to enter the world. We are just waiting patiently for him to get into position.

Update

Well...little Christian decided not to wait until this afternoon. We are at the hospital now as Breezy has been in labor all night. They just gave her an epidural (sp) and are helping her along. I will check in as I can.

Day 958 - Jan 12, 2011

Kevin went to OT and PT today and the therapist mentioned that Kevin needs a new brace because he is in danger of destroying his bad knee. I called the doctor at the VA and mentioned it to her so that we can get that rolling.

While Kevin and I were on our way to therapy, Breezy called and her doc was sending her to the hospital because they thought she was in labor. She was having contractions, but they were 7 minutes apart so the hospital sent her home.

HOWEVER...they have decided to help Christian enter the world tomorrow at 2pm. YAYYY!!

And Ronnie and Marissa made it here this evening! Kevin is just loving it and he and Ronnie sat for hours in the kitchen tonight just talking and looking at pictures on Kevin's computer.

What a wonderful thing to see...

So anyway, I will check in tomorrow as soon as I can with photos of our new baby. Hopefully it's a quick delivery! I'm not sure if they are just breaking her water or what their plan of action is. I guess I'll find out pretty quick, huh?

Day 957 - Jan 11, 2011

Well...no baby. Darnit. Poor Breezy is just miserable. Tomorrow is her due date and she has a doctor's appointment so maybe they will decide to induce.

So Kevin and Johnny went out running around today. I had some errands to run and took care of them.

That's pretty much it so I think I'll just sign off early tonight.

Day 956 - Jan 10, 2011

You had to know that there was a freak winter storm that just happened to hit the one single week a year that Kevin actually has a friend come to visit, right? Yes. Atlanta airport is closed and Ronnie and Marissa's flight was canceled for tomorrow morning.

It took me 7 1/2 hours to get through to make alternate flight arrangements. Did you know that you are automatically hung up on after 60 minutes on the dot of holding? Ummm...yeah. I thought it was a freak thing the first time, but it happened again so apparently not.

So anyway, they are now scheduled for Wednesday morning. I sure hope it happens. Kevin was just devastated when we weren't sure if they were going to come or not. He was just so depressed. He's in a better mood now, though.

And for those that mentioned how good Kevin's skin looks...I...ummm...kinda brushed it with my photo editing software. I also brightened the whites of his eyes. Sorry. I still think he looks good, but sometimes I just touch up the photos a bit before printing. Here's the naked one:



I haven't learned the art of a lighter touch yet on the editing, but maybe someday. There's just so much to learn.

And still no Christian. Breezy wants to have him tomorrow because she likes the date 1/11/11. I guess we'll see, huh?

Day 955 - Jan 9, 2011

Spray butter. Gosh, it's such a wonderful thing, huh? I have been trying to teach Kevin to make his own waffles for a while now and although he can do it for the most part, he always had trouble buttering them. A couple of weeks ago I came into the kitchen and found him dipping his finger into the tub of butter and using it instead of a knife to get the job done. Yuk. Although I am not a full blown germophobe (sp), I do have a problem with someone's fingers in my butter. So that night, as I was lying in bed thinking about it - I remembered spray butter. I picked some up and today he made his own waffles and he was so excited that he could do it all without any help. Wonderful, eh?

So we stayed in again today and just cleaned house. Kevin is so excited about Ronnie coming on Tuesday that he went through his room looking for things to show him. He found his Army beret and I did snap a photo of him with it on:



He needs a haircut in the worst way, doesn't he? Maybe one day this week...

Day 954 - Jan 8, 2010

We didn't do too much today. I had to go for groceries, which I hadn't done in a while because I hadn't been feeling good. We were down to the bare minimum so we did do that.

And other than that - nothing. Both of us barely crawled out of our beds until late this afternoon. It was one of those sleep a little, get up for a bit, lie back down, etc kind of days. I hope tomorrow is the same, lol.

Day 953 - Jan 7, 2010

I feel so much better. Still not at 100% yet, but I feel better tonight than I have felt in weeks. I plan to try and take it easy the whole weekend as well and maybe by Monday I will be completely fine. Man, I hope so.

So Kevin is doing well. He has been 'working out' and I am happy to say that he is slowly losing some of his belly fat. He is doing a modified version of crunches and with the walks he takes daily it seems to really be working for him.

He has been spending more time out of his room lately too and that is a great thing. We are in the process of watching all six episodes of Star Wars and we are now up to episode four. We watch an hour one day and two hours a few days later and so forth and so on. It's just nice having him in the living room watching more and more tv, ya know?

I really need to find the cards and get back to playing Skipbo and Uno too. I haven't seen them since we moved so I will have to dig them out of a box before Ronnie and Marissa get here.

And now I am going to sign off and work on a scrapbook project that has been calling my name. I also have 26 episodes of NCIS taped that need to be watched, lol. It's my goal for the weekend. Lots of rest. Lots of TV. And lots of scrapping.

Day 951 - Jan 5, 2011

I canceled all of our appointments for today and tomorrow so that I could just stay home and get some rest. We really didn't do much today, so I am going to skip again. Truthfully, I am going to skip tomorrow night too and just take this couple days to get better (hopefully). I will catch up with everyone on Friday night.

Day 950 - Jan 4, 2010

We managed to make it through this busy day and I felt better as the day went on. Mary mentioned to me about this Mountain Cedar that is killing everyone's allergies here in SA so maybe that's what it is? Who knows. I just know it needs to go away quick.

So we had the vision therapy appointment today and although I really liked the ophthalmologist, it wasn't what I was looking for at all. We did order Kevin some glasses and some prescription sunglasses though.

So if you remember, I was looking for the type of vision therapy that would actually train Kevin's brain to remember that it can see peripherally to the right. Well, the doc said that there is no one in San Antonio that does this type of therapy. Matter of fact, he believes there are only two therapists in the whole state of Texas. Now one of them is in Austin - which is only about an hour and a half from here, but I really can't see us having the time to drive up there two times a week.

But, it is very important so I am going to have to give it some thought. It would also require quite a bit of persuasion on my part to the VA if we went for it because it is very expensive.

But seriously - if other parts of his body can work again due to the brain rewiring, why can't his vision?

I am optimistic about it, especially as I was told recently that some folks are amazed that Kevin does as well as he does. With his vision, he should be walking into walls and bumping into everything. We have none of this.

I guess I just need to do a little research and do some in-depth thinking about it.

Day 949 - Jan 3, 2011

Well, no baby yet. They sent Breezy home this morning knowing she has a doc appt tomorrow.

We had a lazy day today. Kevin started vomiting this morning at about 7am so we skipped speech therapy and then we had a home evaluation done by the VA this afternoon.

I was so sick and exhausted that I then went up to bed after the VA rep left and napped all afternoon and evening. Johnny came and I did manage to get up and order pizza for dinner because I just didn't have the energy to cook and then we all watched a movie - sorta. I slept through some of it and Kevin slept through other parts. Not sure if Johnny did, but I think he managed to stay awake, lol.

Tomorrow we have a busy day with appointments and I'm just hoping I have the energy to do it all. I tried to go with Johnny and Kevin to the video store for the Narnia 2 movie we watched (hoping to see Narnia 3 this week), but I turned around not a block away and came home sending them to the store alone. I just feel like all out crap.

I think I'll go back to bed now.

Day 948 - Jan 2, 2011

I am going to skip tonight. Miss Brianna is in the hospital again. Dear Christian wants to come so badly, but as soon as he gets to the hospital, he changes his mind. They had Breezy walk for about an hour and then they gave her some sort of relaxant and decided to keep her thinking she might be back in 8 hours if they sent her home. Maybe tomorrow, eh?

Day 947 - Jan 1, 2011

Well, it's a new year. A time to reflect and a time to begin anew.

Reflection: Last year was a bit rough. Not rough in the acute phase, but still rough nonetheless. Lots of surgeries, major infections, overdoses, pain and battles with the VA. On the flip side though - Kevin has progressed cognitively to an amazing extent. The fact that we can more than likely get him declared competent in court is nothing short of a miracle. He just knows so much and is so normal in so many ways. He's needy though, but I think (hope) that even that will be changing soon.

His physical changes are amazing as well. He really looks good for someone that has went through what he has. No, he doesn't look like he used to, but his burns are starting to lighten and and each cosmetic surgery makes a huge difference. I am hoping to start the burns laser therapy soon and that will help too.

He is also walking so much better, being more active and having much more stamina than he did last year. His arm is slowly (very slowly) coming down into a more normal position and that will also make a huge difference.

All in all, it was a somewhat decent year that has enabled us to look forward happily to 2011.

To begin anew - I really hope that this year brings even more 'normalcy' to our lives. I want Kevin to be able to just 'be'. I want him to just be a person - not a patient. Just be a young adult - doing young adult stuff. I want him to make friends and get out and about with them.

I also want him to be able to do things more on his own. I have started the process in getting him into some sort of part time job or volunteer position to help him become more independent and give him a sense of responsibility.

He is now also in charge of taking out the garbage and recycling on their designated days and has an alert on his phone to remind him. He also has to fold all of his clothes after I launder them (too hard for him to carry his basket of clothes upstairs so I do that part). This is the year he is going to start doing more around the house to help me - and himself.

I want him to also be able to be alone more than a few minutes at a time. This will require figuring out how to communicate in the event of an emergency. Something I am not going to worry about the first quarter of the year.

And I know that I want him to feel better about the person he has become. This is going to require some therapies in learning how to accept the changes totally, but I think in time he can do it. He has made great strides in this area, but he still has issues and maybe in the second half of the year we can work on them.

All in all, it's going to be another very busy year. I sincerely hope that Kevin can remain in the more elevated medically stable position that he seems to be in right now, but I do know that there are no guarantees and we will obviously deal with whatever life throws at us.

I am feeling confident though that this will be the best year since our lives all changed so drastically. Positive thinking, right?

Day 946 - Dec 31, 2010

Happy New Year!!!!

I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve! Kevin and I decided to go to Six Flags tonight. We got there about 7:30 with the intention of staying til midnight when the fireworks went off, but it was too cold to stay that long so we ended up leaving at about 10:30. We did just drive around for about an hour and then we went to a mall parking lot right next to Six Flags and watched the fireworks show from there.

Although I was expecting a half hour show or more, it was only 5 minutes long - but totally worth it! It was just the grand finale the whole show. Totally awesome! Kevin and I both loved it!

Anyway, here is a video of Kevin playing one of the games at SF:



Here also are some photos:

Kevin and his new scooter:







And the one on the Merry Go Round? Geesh. Let me tell ya - that boy is so determined. He was just positive he could get on that horse. I was scared to death because even if he got on it - would he be able to a) stay on it and b) get back off it. The horse in front of the bench we were on was really low so he was tall enough to actually get on it from the rear of the horse - not the side like normal. He ended up though actually sitting on the horse's butt and I had to make him try to lift his and I pushed him up and onto the saddle of the horse.

And you had to know that his weak foot wouldn't stay in the stirrup, so it was just dangling there, but it didn't seem to affect him. And you also had to know that the horse did stop as high as it could go at the end of the ride. I was really worried about this, but somehow he managed to get off it. Kudos to him, eh?

We also rode the Hustler and Kevin did pretty well. It spun around pretty fast and I think he was starting to get a little sick, but he kept it under control. I'm not sure if it's due to the TBI or if it's just because he hasn't been on any type of spinning ride in gosh knows how long.

I do know that we do have permission to ride/do anything from our neurosurgeon so I am not worried about that. Kevin is even allowed to ride the roller coasters.

So anyway, that's about it for today. I want to go and finish scrubbing the floor now that Kevin finally went to his room.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2011!