Sunday, May 17, 2009

Day 350 - May 16, 2009

Honestly, I just don't think I have it in me to really write much tonight. It's strange and some of you will think it's just plain out weird, but I just watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and it nearly killed me. It brought all of the emotions out for Kevin that I felt in the beginning - partly because he looked a little like George did after George stepped in front of the bus - both from his wounds and then later when he was in his uniform. It was also so like I imagined Kevin's initial surgeries were - before he even left Afghanistan. It's really just too much because I just keep seeing George and Kevin all rolled up into one person.

Crazy, I know...but sometimes the weirdest things set me off on a crying jag and this time - it's effected both myself and Breezy. She feels exactly as I do and we both agree that if George lives - we will not be able to continue to watch it. It's just too close to home and we can't 'go through' it again - even if it is a TV show.

Ok - so just ignore all the rambling about a stupid show and I will 'talk normal' tomorrow night...


Brenda said...

No hon,

Now I may sound silly but it might have been a blessing for you to and Breezy to see it. NOW, before everybody jumps my bones let me explain.

Both of you have been so strong and faced things we never will but I also think that you've been keeping a lot of it buried deep inside of you. This very well be what you needed to release all of that and believe me it's something you needed to do..

So don't apologize for feeling the way you do. No one blames you or thinks it weird. We've all been down that road before.

Miss Em said...


When something hits close to home, then the knowledge will bring emotions into the forefront with little or no control.
It's known as a psychological key for release.
For you an Breezy it was a good thing. It allowed you both to release building pressures that leads to depression even when things are going in a very good direction.

O-Kay!! Now for the UP-side of that show.

Don't forget it gives you an idea of what Kevin was going through at the time of his injury.

NOW go take a really good LOOK at Kevin and SEE just how far he has come and the POSSIBILITIES of where he is going.

It's taken hard work and lots of tears with some laughter and a few smiles to get to this point.
It's going to take lots more hard work and buckets of tears with some laughter and a few smiles in there to get the point of "Yes, success".

As the saying goes...
"Hang in there Baby, you've ain't seen NOTHING yet, because the sky is the limit and I ain't got to the sky yet."

Miss Em
Austell, Ga.

Anonymous said...

I grew up with a father that was very ill. As children, we didn't understand just how ill he was. At the time, I always thought it weird that my mother wouldn't visit hospitals for any reason (even when her first grandchild was born). She didn't watch hospital shows on tv either. My Dad did. Now as an adult I understand better what her life was like and what she was dealing with on a daily basis. Everyone deals differently. Everyone deals somehow. You ladies have shown amazing strenth.

Anonymous said...

coutentWhat you experience is not weird at all! You have suffered a loss -of the person that Kevin was before the horrible accident. You still have your sweet boy but there is a loss there of what was and what may have been.

My precious dad died on St. Patricks Day a few years back when he was 83. I do ok with it now that time has passed. But, sometimes I see an old man and I get really sad. I see old men all the time but for some reason seeing a certain old man at a certain point in time may hit hard for some reason. I don't always see it coming. I used to cry during Hallmark commercials. Or, maybe it is the way a breeze teases the leaves on a tree or a whiff of Old Spice. You can't explain this stuff but anyone who has lost someone to death or Alzheimers, or a serious injury such as Kevin's will probably feel these triggers that the other commenters mentioned.

This TV show is certainly more intense and pointed than what I was stating, so of course you feel terrible! There is nothing wrong with letting it out as I do sometimes. It is good for you because then you release some tension and move on - until the next trigger (might as well know you will unfortunately have them in the future).

Be kind to yourself and give yourself some credit - you are a pillar of strength!


Cathy M

Jessica said...

I don't think it's weird at all! Those shows are written to evoke strong emotions, so to have your experience with Kevin on top of that, it's no wonder you had such a strong reaction. Hope today you're feeling a little better.

You're both in my thoughts and prayers!