I really wish I could say that I felt better - but I just don't. I know I mentioned everything about me last night, but truthfully - it's even harder watching Kevin go through what he's going through and just imagining how he feels is really rough.
I truly feel his pain. I can't imagine what it's like to be sitting in a restaurant with 20 soldiers in the same building and your mom having to cut up your food.
I can't imagine what it's like to watch soldiers stand while saluting as the flag is coming down the pole and you can't stand on your own.
I can't imagine how embarrassing it is to have to have your mom give you a shower every day.
Or what it's like to be so scarred in the face when we all know how we feel when we have a pimple or something as minimal as that.
I also can't comprehend what it feels like to have to go to the bathroom and your urinal is in the car and your mom ran downstairs to get a drink.
Or how scary it is when someone asks you a question and is expecting a response, and you can't answer them - even if you know the answer.
And what about not being able to play your XBox? One of the two things you loved the most? Which also brings out the utter sadness that he will never really be allowed to skateboard again. Pick the two things that mean so much to you and imagine never being able to do them again? Horrible, huh?
And let's not forget how devastating it must be to know that you are no longer able to do what you wanted to do - to go into the Special Forces and make a career of it all.
I have been watching him here and it's not been a good thing to be around all of these guys/gals. It was just so easy to feel lucky when you are only around people that are in the same boat as you are - with brain injuries. He is truly a miracle in that regard. But we aren't around people with brain injuries here and it has made his losses stand out so much more that even I am noticing them in a profound way. I think we just need to go home so we can go back to sticking our heads in the sand and dealing with things in a more positive way. I just can't seem to see the light here and I really need to - fast.
First 2 from the Nov kit!
5 years ago