Saturday, February 28, 2009

Day 273 - Feb 28, 2009

It was kinda a rough day today. Kevin just isn't ever in a good mood anymore and unfortunately it's working on all of us. Breezy and I are fighting and Kevin is just fighting everything so it really, really wasn't a fun day.

I honestly don't know what to do to help Kevin through the depression. I seriously have tried everything and I am assuming it's just something he's going to have to work through on his own. It's just so bad. I thought about it last night and I realized it's been weeks since he really laughed. Since before his surgeries. And the worst part is the mood swings. Today we were pumped to go to lunch and we got to the restaurant and he would not go in. We had to go back home and I sent my sis and b-i-l back on their own.

Then he wanted to go outside and his wheelchair got stuck in the yard/grassy area and that was just it - back into the house we had to go. He just lay there and cried and cried.

We did up his dose of anti-depressants and I was told yesterday that we are getting a new MALE therapist for Kevin to begin 'talking' to. I so hope this makes a difference. And I'm so glad that they are at least hearing what I am saying about this therapy thing.

And now I am going to cut this short. I am just so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open to type this. Here's a close-up pic of us (obviously taken by me holding my arm out as far as I can, lol)


Janna said...

I know when Kevin "sees" himself, it is in light of what used to be. What so many of us see is the absolutely amazing progress he has made since this injury took place and how absolutely WONDERFUL he looks now compared to the outset. No, it will never be the old Kevin and I am sure he is in mourning for that but that is the past. As an outsider, the Kevin I see is an absolute miracle. He is recovering from a devastating injury and has come so far on the journey of healing. His body is making great strides : his soul is still battered and damaged and truly, only God can heal that. This is why I dont send " good thoughts " or " cross my fingers ". I pray. For mercy, for peace, for the grace to understand only He can give Kevin I pray. I pray for peace and mercy for your pain too Leslie, and for your daughter. Whatever your faith is , I know somewhere out there is a Priest, Pastor, Preacher, Teacher or Minister who could help ease the pain in Kevins heart and in your heart too. "The Shack" is a great starting place for going in that direction....but in the meantime....I will just continue to pray. While it may feel like it, God has not abandoned you and he does love you and Kevin. Believe it. And remember this comes from another mother who blamed God for allowing what happened to my son and hated Him for years. Just give Him a chance...He is waiting for it.

LISA said...


The solution...

Bring back Tracy A. Jack. She always makes him laugh.

The best medicine around. : )

Praying...for you all.

Nice family picture.


Anonymous said...

letting go of the past kevin is a grieving process that he must go through. you as his mother have had time to process the new kevin, where he is just now seeing what happened to him from the bomb. from the first picture you posted till this one, his whole facial appearance has improved 100%, maybe it might be good for him to show him how far he has come in the last 9 months. god gave him a 2nd chance at life which most dont get. his purpose his has not been completed and in the future he will come to undertand and make the best of what life holds in store for him, it just takes time and lots of patience from everyone

armyparents said...

Poor kevin....I am so sorry that your family are going through this. Here is a couple things that I remember seeing and maybe will give ya a few ideas anyway. I remember seeing this girl on oprah (yea i know oprah) she was i think in her 20's and she was in a horrible fire. you could only imagine what she looked like. and they asked her if she cried still and she said she did. her cousin allows her 5 min a day to cry and then gets tuff with her and says now lets get some stuff down.(therapy etc). Also on oprah thurs there was some soldiers that was severely injured and they was in rehab when she talked with them. There are other soldiers that come in and talk to the other soldiers and tell them their story and what they been through. maybe that is another option for kevin to hear other stories like his and then maybe he would know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. the injured soldiers told her that it helped alot hearing the other stories.
These are just a few ideas. Ya know maybe not just kevin needs someone to talk to. maybe you do to and they can help you as well.
sending lots of prayers your way

Jodi said...

Gang, I am so sorry things have been rougher on you all. I wish I had words of wisdom to help you thru this. But the one thing I can say is are a very strong and loving family and you have made it this far TOGETHER with each others love and support of one another. Don't forget that and don't ever stop. Kevin will be okay. He will find his way back to smiling and laughing again, it just may take some time. I hope having the new male therapist helps. I also agree with what Debbie posted. Maybe another soldier that has been thru what Kevin is going thru can talk to him?

Love the picture! LOL Nothing better then eyes and nostrils! LOL

I hope you all have a better day today. Hang in there and stay strong FOR EACH OTHER.

Safe thoughts for all military personnel and strength for their families.
I love you guys!!!
Andrew's Aunt Jodi

Anonymous said...

To the anonymous posts from yesterday:

First thanks for letting us know that we had the wrong zip code for Chicora,PA it is 16025 (we just never noticed it till now).

To the other asking for the benefit is listed on the side of Leslie's page. It is as follows:

Thanks !!!

Anonymous said...

At the fund raiser site. I emailed them and asked if there is a paypal way I can prepay for 5 of the cookbooks but no one is responding, maybe they will see it here.

Miss Em said...


I can't tell you what to do but only suggest that this might help.

Pull up the following:
Post# 164 - Nov 11 w/Dikta
Post# 169 - Nov 16
Post# 173 - Nov 20
Post# 243 - Jan 29 w/Dikta
and the Chicago Tribune

Make certain that you have a copy of that article and have highlighted the following:

"especially what Dikta said about Kammerdiener as he marveled at the progress....'Incredible...his head was basically, half of it was gone.
....probably never get back 100% but the love and cheer...that's special."

Kevin should see and know what his hero, Dikta, was seeing and saying about him.

It's important!

For when a man of Dikta's standing finds that Kevin is an amazing miricle then maybe that will help Kevin come to realize that it's not as bad as it looks or could be. He needs help in accepting that and that in time it WILL be better than it is NOW, today.

Maybe someone who knows Dikta can give him a call or one to his agent
and make a special request for Kevin Kammerdiener could use a phone call that would aid in raising Kevin's spirits out of the 'dumps of depression' and maybe mention that Dikta could tell Kevin how much the difference really was from the first time he saw Kevin and the last time that he, Dikta, saw Kevin.

Never know what a 'Hero' needs to hear from one who thinks the
'Hero' is a miricle.


As for the wheelchair, YOU are going to have to become the "ANGRY MOMMA PIT-BULL" again.

Kevin NEEDS an all-terrain electric wheelchair for the times when walking is NOT always an option or the distance is more than he can handle.

Every Wounded Warrior needs help when the pain and/or waining strength becomes more than he can handle with one more step.

Which means YOU are going to have to insist/demand that all of his doctors, nurses and therapist pushing that small front-wheeled wheelchair [that he now has] uphill, downhill, across grass and sand until they understand how hard it is to move on anything but smooth surfaces especiall with Kevin in it.

Then tell them that Kevin is a Man and does NOT need his Mommie or sister to push him around in life. Then ask them how they would feel if they had to depend on someone else to make the dicisions on when or where to move that chair.

[This also maybe one of those stress points that is making your chest hurt. You might mention that also.]

We out here all know that Kevin is a young man AND he is going to be an active young man which means that smooth surfaces are going to be left far behind in many instances and walking may NOT always be an option.

Miss Em
Austell, Ga.

Anonymous said...

Hi it's Kim Simpson,member of the benefit committee.I apologize if you emailed me and didn't get an email back;I did respond to an email 3 days ago concerning paypal and my account shows it went through.If it was you ; I am sorry for any convenience it may have caused.
At this time we do not have paypal set up and are accepting checks or money orders as payment for the cookbooks.Again,thank-you to everyone that submitted recipes and/or are ordering cookbooks.
Thank you and have a good day

Leslie,Breezy,Kevin you 3 are in my thoughts and prayers everyday !

Long-time RN said...

A male therepist sounds like a good idea. All of you were so hopeful just prior to the flap surgery. Now Kevin has gone through several subsequent surgeries. Not only is this a toll for his body, it's an emotional toll as well.

Keeping you all in prayers for strength and comfort.