It was a struggle on so many levels today. Kevin is doing well, but he was tired and cranky all day. First, because they came and cut his hair and he didn't want it cut. That was done before I even got there today. Military regulation? I have no idea!
Next, we had a VERY young nurse talking to Breezy (in front of Kevin) about how she doesn't feel Kevin needs a sitter. She kept telling Kevin "You are a grown man! You don't need someone in here with you all the time!" Well...yeah...he is a grown man...with friggin brain damage!! Hello!! Now he doesn't want anyone in there all day and I am just curious how she thinks he is going to notify a nurse when he needs something? I mean...can he yell "NURSE"? Uhhh...no. Can he hit the call button? Uhhh...another no. Can he get out of bed and walk to the nurses station? Hell no! Although he would probably try and therein lies another problem that requires a sitter. I mean, just what does she think is gonna happen when he slides out of bed trying to get help and hits his head? He has no skull for goodness sake! Grrrr...
Next - and get this - someone in the military has decided that all of the patients need to be in uniform from 0730 - 1600 hours each and every day. HA! You know what I think? Whoever made that decision should get their ass to the hospital and dress all these guys. I mean, let's face it - none of these guys/girls can dress themselves. And in Kevin's case, the left side of his head is huge and he is burned all over his body. He already wears compression garments and you want him to be in uniform? And just how much time do they think we have? Geez, it takes hours to shower him, cover his body in lotion for his burns and then put all his garments on. Mind you - those things are TIGHT! And hot! And itchy! And they are very hard to pull up! And now I am supposed to put his uniform on? I THINK NOT!
So I told the captain that it just isn't happening! I don't care if the president himself comes to visit! Matter of fact - bring him on! Let him come and dress him for goodness sake!
That is just ridiculous! He's a patient in a hospital - not stationed somewhere ready and able! Gosh - this just burns me! Believe me - I support the military! I do! But get friggin real! Somebody just isn't using his or her head!
Damn! Now I am mad all over again! What a crappy day! There were so many other things that happened today, but I am just going to go to bed. I am not fit company tonight and I am probably already in trouble for posting my anger at some idiot commanding officer.
So ignore me. Ignore this post. I probably shouldn't even click the 'publish' button, but I'm going to. This is my journal and this is how I feel.
First 2 from the Nov kit!
11 years ago
35 comments:
ou have every right to be upset..Sometimes I really think those in command have no real idea what the families are going through.
I can just imagine what you're going through..Someone needs to set that young nurse straight..What she did was totally unethical. Some nurses do NOT need to be working in VA's until they get some special training.
sounds like she was in a piss off mood...
Let Kevin know you want to be there with him..then tell that nurse to go and play with somebody else's bed pan..
Hang in there hon..don't let then get to you..after all, you're Kevin's mother and remind them that HE was hurt defending what he believes in and you don't see her going over there and doing anything to help out.
Guess you're not the only one who want's to rant either..LOL
hugs
Is there some kind of ombudsman at the hospital? Someone whose job it is to listen to problems and fix them? Sounds like they need to get an earfull both about the nurse and about the uniforms - both are nutso!
im sorry if this offends you since you support the military but that just goes to show that they DO NOT see their soldiers as human beings with familys and friends and lives, they only see them as pawns to play out their ideas and their plans and their actions because they won't do it themselves because they know what can happen and they are cowards.
and i bet you that somehow kev would find a way to get that uniform off if you put it on him!
This is a lot like the way they dress up old people in nursing homes. Like they are going somewhere?
It's true, Kevin is a man. Some day he will tell you, Mom, I'm a man and will make my own decisions. But right now he doesn't understand a sneeze and can't tell you anything. Right now he's not their soldier, he's your son that the court gave you custody of.
As for Miss nurse, my son's old girlfriend had the label nurse but that was only what she learned. Who she was, was an idiot and I wouldn't have wanted her taking care of me.
I support the military too. But he's already almost lost his life in their care once and I wouldn't allow it to happen again. He just might try to get out of bed because he doesn't have good judgement right now.
Talk to Kevin. Tell him the nurse isn't in charge, the doctors are and he's not ready to be alone. Tell him just what you said here. Tell him when he can talk and push the call button, then he'll be ready.
I know you won't let them push you around..your Kev's Commander and Chief right now.
Oh Leslie, as if you don't have enough to deal with - Kevin is so so lucky to have his mum and sister there to look out for him - take care,
Jenny in Australia
This young nurse doesn't have Kevin's best interest at heart. She is speaking unethically and ignorantly. Her superiors need to know this. She is dangerous to patients and should not be caring for patients like Kevin. She could cost them their lives.
I agree with you that the nurse was wrong. And you need to report her comments to both her superior and the omsbudman so there will be documentation.
Re: the uniforms, that's something that media needs to know.
OMG I can't believe they would even think about making him wear a uniform!!! Tell them to get stuffed!! And get ahold of the media PLEASE!! Yes kev is not himself but imagine the people who are maybe in comas and can't even move at all and those idiots want them in uniform, FOR WHAT???!!! Oh and that dumb nurse yeah shes going to end up hurting someone badly Tell her to get stuffed too!! Sorry now Im ranting on and on..Kevin is a fighter and if they make him wear that he will rip it right off...also it may make him depressed or angry because maybe he doesn't remember what happened or something and that may bring back bad times..You guys keep up the good work with him!!
Hey Leslie,
First off this is your blog and if you want to vent and blow off steam it's your place to do it, you owe no explanations.
IMHO for all it's worth talk to the director of nurses or head nurse on the floor. Express your disbelief in what this immature and uncaring nurse said to Breezy in front of Kevin. Kevin's condition warrants a caregiver with him 24/7 to take care of his needs, be it you, Breezy or hospital personal. I can't imagine a nurse in a VA hospital with that kind of attitude and irresponsibility.
Lastly I'm not surprised that some shinny ass officer in an office with a carpet corridor came out with such a ludicrous edict. For patents be they military or civilian to dawn a uniform while in hospital is just unreal. The last thing Kevin and the other patents need is to be dressed in uniform and making them uncomfortable. What don't they understand about patent recovery and making the patent as comfortable and content as they can be while they are recovering.
Leslie your a terrific mom and you will do what is best for Kevin as you have all along. I don't think they want to mess with Less. I'm sure if you talk with the ombudsman they can take care of these issues for you.
I pray you have a better day today.
Be well & God bless,
Jeff Bernstein
Oh my gosh, Leslie! The uniform rule is insane. Go GIRL! One thing I've learned by reading this blog is that you're going to stick up for your children NO MATTER WHAT. Whoever made that rule needs to spend a little time visiting military hospitals. Shame, shame.
I'm p.o.'d at the nurse myself. She needs to stick to her job which I doubt includes setting policy. I'm sure the nurses are overtaxed, as they are everywhere. But she still doesn't get to decide who gets what care - just to see that they get it.
BIG HUGS
You know, after reading your post this morning, there's really only one thing that can be said regarding the young nurse and the individual expressing that uniforms are to be worn by burn victims. Even Dumb People Need Jobs.
As for the uniforms, I'd be digging around to see who actually stated that information or see if it's in memorandum form and who it actually applies towards (staff possibly?). I'm astounded that any breathing soul would want a burn victim to wear garments, i.e., a uniform, and I'd question where the information came from (the young nurse as she seemed to be a source of non-helpful information). If you find it's true, I'd utilize the Florida Representatives, Senators, or Governor to look into the reasoning for this order, but I'd make sure I obtained some sort of documentation first. Without some sort of documentation ordering it, the words aren't enforcable without the backup of who wrote or said them.
It's been good to hear the progress Kevin is making :) Our prayers are still hanging with all of you.
Hang in there and just laugh more about things that sound dumb because they probably are dumb. :) Ha aha !!
Julie
You know what Kevin needs medically. Yes he still is a solider, BUT they are taking it over the edge. That nurse needs to understand a little better then making comments like that to Kevin. I pray that she gets moved to a different unit. I hope you can get calmed down with having to make heads roll.
You go girl... we agree with you 100%!
~Stefanie
Get real! They have no clue what Kevin (and you all)are going through. His uniform could be hung on the wall or in his room for all to see, but I think it is rediculous for anyone to ask a patient to wear his/her uniform in a hospital bed. I agree, let them all come and see what conditon these service persons are in before they decide this!
The nurse! Hmmmmmm, well I will just say that. I am so angry that anyone would say he does not need a sitter at this time! She really needs to be reported. (as if you have not already) She has no right telling Kevin that. She really has nerve I tell ya!
Take care and I hope today is better for you. And I agree, you need to see someone about them being required to wear their uniforms.....grrrr
Love
Susan
"HUGS" to all of you!
If they want to stress the uniform I would just have the DR. let them know that he is a burn victim. He needs special garments to wear for the healing process. Some people need to be told the facts directly. Even people that you think would know things still need to be told.
Has this nurse been with Kevin much? It sounds like it's day one for her. She needs to know Kevin's needs and I would mention her comments to her supervisor. It would also be nice for her to apologize to Kevin.
I'm sorry you had a bad day and I pray that today is much different for you guys!
Take care,
Kathy in Iowa
Leslie, I've been reading your blog every day and let me tell you, I really admire your strength and courage in what you deal with. It's wonderful to see Kevin's progress, even though they probably seem like baby steps to you.
Obviously, the person who would make such a regulation did NOT think about it or would have certainly realized that a person in Kevin's condition is not going to get dressed. Find a camouflage hospital gown and call it a uniform!
Keep your spirits up.
Leslie, don't let them push you around. After being in the Army for 20 years, I know that there are exceptions and no one, that's right no one is required to be in uniform during those hours. This is some one's attempt to show that the "they" (not the Army) has control over Kevin as a soldier. Big woopity doo! That is idiotic.
And as for the young nurse, tell her to get lost! You have every right to be there 24/7 if you want to be. In fact you're helping do what they are supposed to be doing. They should be thankful that they are able to have the help.
Even though I don't post every day, know that my friends and I read your blog every day, talk about Kevin's progress, and pray for you all every day.
Additionally, I was in personnel for my entire career. If you ever have any questions about anything that the Army wants to do ie medical retirement etc, please feel free to ask. I know that there are some changes since I've retired, but I can find out the answers and get back w/you.
Take care.
That nurse is crazy she probably is just to lazy to do anything. As for the uniform thing I would like the president to come and sit with Kevin for a day to see what he is going through or maybe even read your blog oh but wait he/she is to busy to sit down and actually see what the patients are going through. Stay strong and tell someone about that nurse. Keep your head high. Lori
I am speechless! Little nursey needs to be reported right away. As for being in uniform...that is the most insane thing I have ever heard. No way would I put my son in uniform.I'm sure you aren't about to do that either.
As the saying goes..."Beauty fades,
but dumb is forever". I think this goes for both the nurse and the uniform nut.
You are everything a good mother should be and I have the greatest admiration for you and Breezy.
Jocelyn
So I'm thinking that the nurse did not pay attention to patient care notes when she was in school! Come on never talk negative about or around a patient we know he is a grown man who at the moment is there to be cared for not antagonized! I'm glad your venting you need to or your going to go crazy. Love you lots!!
Jess
Sorry, my last post didn't make sense...I agree with everyone else that someone needs to be told about the ignorance of this nurse. She may have good intentions, but provide her with her first learning experience (hopefully one of many). Also, someone mentioned getting written orders regarding the uniform thing--good idea! It sounds absolutely ridiculous for INJURED soldiers to be forced to wear uniforms in a hospital!! And if it's true, then definitely get the media involved (they can be quite powerful). Or maybe you could get Miss RN to dress him for you since he doesn't need a sitter.
Stay strong!!
Smiles and prayers,
Megan (SA from MD)
INSIST ON THE SITTER. THEY WILL FIND OUT TOO LATE (AFTER HE FALLS AND HITS HIS HEAD)THAT THEY WERE WRONG. OOPS FOR THEM AND MORE INJURIES FOR YOUR SON TO DEAL WITH
Man, when I read your latest comments about this nurse and the uniform requirement? Somehow this just doesn't seem like it came from higher ups. In our experience at Landstuhl, where we did not have to consider such idiotic ideas, we were given such great care and concern for every move we made. My son was told ahead of time that he was going to have company and he wanted to clean up the hospital room a little, but in no way did he have to change out of a hospital gown. And we did have a visit from two 4 star generals, for crying out loud. So....my suggestion is that you speak to the Commander of the hospital and explain the situation, and I'm sure it will be rectified. I have a feeling that someone was trying to push their weight around. And poor Kevin,...from being in the ARMY and understanding about selfless acts, and following commands....I'm sure he feels like he should comply. Anyway, probably by now the problem has been taken care of, and hopefully you feel vindicated as to your feelings about it all. I was very upset for you all, knowing from experience that what you are going through is very hurtful and life changing, and people just need to be as caring as possible...these lives are so fragile. My hats off to you for standing your ground in this. You all take care and continue the way you have been. We're all amazed at your courage and dedication. It is work...but when it involves your kids....you are their best and fiercest advocate,...so keep it up sweetie. I'll continue to pray for you all.
I send love..
Anita, a 173rd MOM
Ditto to all the comments above. I was a nurse for twenty-eight years and I have never heard anything so absurd. This nurse should be reported as her assessment skills are seriously lacking if she truly believed that Kevin should not have a sitter. Not to mention, the "grown man" comment, which was completely unprofessional! I was always grateful to have a sitter or family at the bedside who could be there when I could not!!!
As a nurse and a Mom whose 26 year old son is battling leukemia and has been recently hospitalized for a bone marrow transplant, I know how important it is for you to be there for Kevin. NEVER second guess yourself!!! I have learned this lesson the hard way a couple times already and I have found myself feeling intimidated by "the staff," only to find out I was RIGHT all along! You have Kevin's best interests at heart, your instincts are GOOD and you are wired to be fiercely protective of your son, you have every right to be by his side and participate in his care! There will be bad days like this one, but, stay on guard for him! He is so vulnerable right now and he needs you more than ever. Kevin needs the loving care of his family, it is a crucial key to his recovery! Look at Matt and his family...they are a case in point. The hospital can care for his physical body, but, you need to be there to keep his spirit alive and his heart filled with love.
God bless your family and Kevin. You are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day.
P.S. - Why did they cut Kevin's hair?? Those kinds of things make me really sad. Here was a decision that Kevin could actually have some control over and wouldn't you know the Army decided to assert it's authority on an injured soldier??? I don't get it. Did they cut it because he still has to have a regulation hair cut while he is in the hospital?? Just ridiculous...don't people have better things to worry about, like hiring experienced and educated nurses or maybe firing the person who thinks wearing uniforms in the hospital is a good idea.
Leslie,
Just a quick heads up..Got an email today saying Kevin's things have been shipped so look for them either at the end of the week or first of next..They're coming by FedX
hugs
Leslie,
I just had a thought..If you can't get anything done..try contact the Tampa area Commander of the VFW. Tell him what's going on..
I know ours up here would help out if they could..
Brenda
Leslie,
Sorry that you had such a bad day. Maybe I can help. I am Command Sergeant Major (retired) Stephen Kammerdiener. We watch your blog every day and we pray for Kevin every night. Kevin's Great-Grandfather and my Grandfather were brothers. I guess that makes Kevin and I some degree of cousins. I retired after 30 years in the ARMY this last May and I currently work with the Warrior Transition Battalion at Ft. Campbell KY. My work cell phone number is 931-436-5665. I would be honored to help you and Kevin work through this issue and I would be glad to offer any assistance that I can as you navigate through the buearacracy of the VA and/or Dept of the ARMY. If you don't get a chance to call, my advice is to ignore the suggestion of putting on Kevin's uniform. That order is unlawful because it defies common sense, is contrary to doctor's orders and would cause unnecessary harm to Kevin. Stand your ground protecting Kevin as he stood his ground to protect us. The ARMY has an Ombudsman program that can help you and Brigadier General Tucker has a hotline for Wounded Soldiers and their families. The Ombudsman hotline at Ft. Gordon GA (nearest ARMY Med Center) is 706-8239. BG Tucker's hotline number is 1-800-984-8523. If you can get me a name or phone number of a "green-suiter" perpetrating this stupidity, I would love to have a conversation with them. You can't begin to imagine how many people are praying for Kevin and your family.
God bless and call me if you need any help.
Steve Kammerdiener
That "nurse" needs to be removed from Kevin, forever! How dare she talk to him like that and make him feel bad! HORRIBLE! Explain to Kevin the nurse is stupid and rude and he needs to trust YOUR judgement calls for him right now. He knows you will take good care of him.
You dont know me...I pray for your son after reading about him on Matthew Wheeler's site. As an old Army brat it is my opinion that you should give whomever made this idiotic regulation a personal visit if he or she is there at the hospital. If not, I would definately make contact with either them or , better yet , their commanding officer and fi that is a general, even better! It isnt just stupid , its inhumane to make the wounded put on uniforms ( or more precisely, those who care for them do it to them) for all the reasons you mentioned...hot , tight and itchy. It is cruel and simply not acceptable, period.
HI Leslie,
I just read Rick your blog and he said tell them that Rick and Howard said they can kiss your behind. He said do what is best for you and your son. He has done his duty for the government now let him get better without any more hassles. Take care thoughts and prayers to the 3 of you.
Lorraine
OH I am SO ticked off right now I cant even believe it! I just wrote this long post and then deleted it. I cant even beging to wrap my head around the uniform issue AT ALL!!! and that nurse.. let me guess... she's not a mother? I'd like to see a nurse try to get me away from my sons beside if I wanted to be there. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
ggggrrr.. both subjects have me just shaking my head! Ridiculous!
I'm sorry you have to put up with this kind of stuff on top of everything else. NOT FAIR!!
I wish I was there to give you a hug friend!
You have a right to your anger and Leslie, you don't wear a uniform so you can say whatever you want to say. Trust me, I am always out of line when it comes to voicing my opinion but you can't get into trouble for having an opinion.
Don't let the rest of it get to you. Talk to the DON and let him/her know that the young nurse is speaking inappropriately in front of Kevin. They can speak to the nurse and if that doesn't work, use your anger constructively and try to tell the young nurse to stick her opinion in her nose and snort on it! :)
Hang in there sweetie. We are pulling for you.
I have been reading your blog for some time now. I don't even know how I was directed to it, but nonetheless I have been a reader only...until now.
First let me tell you how inspired I am by your faithfulness to your son and your continued support of our military. Please know that although I do not know you or Kevin, you and your family are in my daily prayers. I am amazed to see the miracles that God has performed in Kevin and look forward to the day that he will make a full recovery.
I have been a wife of an active-duty officer for the past 13 years. My husband has been on both sides of the fence - both enlisted and officer. As a consolation to you, it never ceases to amaze him how the "higher-ups" can order things and not realize their full impact. Sometimes (often) an idea gets put into action without rhyme or reason. Sometimes orders come from lower ranking officers who are trying to do something significant to show on paper that they did something, just to make rank. Can't say that's the issue here, but it does happen and it makes me MAD!!
With all that being said, my prayers for you are for strength to make it one day at a time and that God's healing hand be on Kevin and His will be done. I pray that God blesses you for your sacrifices and that he continues to work miracles in your son. Blessings to you and your family.
WOW...I've been reading for such a long time. It must be totally exhausting and heartbreaking for you. I bet you cry a lot...your precious son--broken--OMG!
My son was one of the first responders to his comrades--trauma, in Iraq...a Navy Corpsman (8404 attached to Marines)they call 'Doc.' He saw and treated so many injuries. God only knows what's in his head, for memories. He talks about it some...I can't get it out of MY head!
What a very brave Mom you are!
OMG! I would agree that they DO NOT need to be in uniform--they are HEALING TREMENDOUS, OOZING WOUNDS for frigs sake!!
I admire you greatly for speaking your mind about this to the CO--they are totally clueless!
Words cannot convey what I have in my head and heart for you and your son and your daughter. (You do not mention Kevin's father...I'm guessing he's nowhere around??)
GO BE WITH YOU AND KEVIN...I will be following your Blob.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING...
(((((((HUGS TO ALL)))))))
Linda
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