Something happened at speech therapy today and it gives me cause for concern. I don't know if you all remember me saying that I was upset with the speech therapist that spent time with Kevin while he was in patient at the VA a few months back when Moe came to visit. She was one of those that just can't see outside the box and she mentioned that Kevin really won't get much better than what he is now because he's already 3 years post injury. It made me mad then, but I am looking past it because she's who's been assigned to Kevin and we have to give it a try.
Well, they don't want me to be in the room while he has therapy so I ran some errands today and when I got back Kevin was livid. It was like revisiting the past - a year or more ago - when he wouldn't talk or do anything when he was angry. I haven't seen this side of him in a VERY long time, but today he was demanding that I cancel ALL his therapy appointments and his Botox treatment and everything else - even the trip to Pittsburgh!
By this time he was in OT and he wouldn't even speak to that therapist and he didn't even really want her touching him. I excused myself and went and called the Speech therapist to find out what had happened. She didn't really say much other than he was good for the first 20 mins and when he couldn't figure out what they wanted from him he got upset. He told me they wouldn't let it go and move on, but she said she tried and he just wouldn't try anything else. Frankly, I believe Kevin. He just doesn't get upset unless there's a real reason and I am guessing she was forcing something he just couldn't handle.
When I kinda called her on it she told me that sometimes he is just going to have to accept things and try over and over and over again to do things he can't do. I don't think I agree. I understand completely trying to teach something repeatedly, but if someone is getting agitated - move on! Change tactics for goodness sakes! After 3 years of living this life - if there is something that upsets him - find something that makes him feel good. You don't need to hammer it home that he can't do it. Why honestly would you need to do that?
Ack! I don't think this is going to work, but when Kevin and I went for a walk tonight we discussed how he has to go back on Thursday and I talked him into going. I didn't let on that my heart is heavy with dread - I just spewed all kind of crap about her learning how to work with him, blah blah blah.
Honestly though - I didn't like her attitude back then and I am still not liking it now. I am trying though. Real hard...
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
6 comments:
I dont think I would care much if they " dont want you in the room". Obviously something signifigant happened while you were gone and as his primary caregiver I do believe you have EVERY right to see what is happening. Not every therapist has the best interest of the patient at heart. Sounds like a witch to me.
Also, Kevin is able to communicate...not all the patients can. If she is doing this to him, I can only imagine what she does to those less able.
I would think you would be able to be in the room with him. You know his abilities and if they are having trouble communicating you would be able to assist. I know she probably wants to do it her way, but it sounds like they didn't get too far. Maybe you could go for at least a few times. I wouldn't think they would say no if it is to help Kevin.
Sorry he was in this situation and I hope the next time is different. Tell Kevin we're thinking of him and we're so happy to see all of the pictures you post! We continue to pray for all of you! Things work out. I hope they will work out very soon for you. You've come this far and this is just a bump in the road. I really hope they let you stay with him. It would be much more of a team effort in helping Kevin. That's the goal no matter how it is acheived right? Let her know you would be able to help if he isn't understanding or she isn't. It would make a much smoother time there. That is what Kevin needs right now.
Take care. :)
Kathy in IA
honestly Leslie, i would go up the chain of command and make sure that person no longer worked with my son. Sometimes two people just can't work together and the sooner you figure it out, the better. Kevin is the vulnerable one in this equation, not the therapist, and if she cannot conform to help him, someone else can. Don't allow her or anyone in healthcare bring you or him down. You have both worked VERY hard to get where you are; backsliding because someone is so hard headed they can't see what the patient needs is not an option. speak up! speak up now!
hoping we can get together when you return to Pittsburgh.
Hallie
Honestly you know best and go with what you know. I had a counselor tell me something like that before on our first meeting. She had no idea how to handle PTSD or TBI. We just said screw it and moved on. I don't blame you at all, she upset Kevin and that is not OK.
People who are not very good at their jobs are often the last people to understand just how bad they are. So, she probably honestly thinks that she is right about whatever she's doing with Kevin. Too bad Kevin can't explain to her how he learns. But even if he could, she would probably still insist that he do it her way. Sigh.
Sounds like a terrible teacher at my kids' school -- one that I would NOT want my kids to be in a room with. Funny how people who seem to have a knack for being inflexible (read: borderline abusive?) don't want interested adults in the room. I would home school my children before I would allow them to be in this person's class.
The very least I would demand is video evidence of any further treatments with this individual. Follow your instincts, Leslie! This person might feel they have a theory or a diagnosis (they've made) to prove.
Gah!
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