I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day! Ours was nice. Kevin didn't make it to the table for dinner, but Breezy, Chris, Josh and I ate and it turned out well.
And my kids got me a certificate for a hot stone massage at a spa down the road a bit. I am really looking forward to that!!
But tonight...tonight Kevin is very sad. He found some photos on his Zune from before he left for Basic Training. Photos where he was whole. Handsome. Normal.
He has mostly been crying for the last half hour or so. It's hard because there really are no words to ease his pain. Let's be honest - he has absolutely no quality of life. He is in constant pain. He is disfigured permanently. He has no friends. And he can no longer think like he used to be able to.
I'd say that pretty much sucks - no matter how much we all know that it's a miracle that he is alive.
So I have to let him cry it out of his system. I just keep going in and checking on him every 3 or 4 minutes or so and I can only hope that tomorrow he wakes up and doesn't focus on the losses. We all know what a slippery slope the road to depression is so I will have to keep my eye out once again.
If everyone can just keep their fingers crossed...
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
5 comments:
Hello Leslie,
I'm sorry to hear that Kevin had a bad day but am happy to hear that the Turkey/stuffing dinner was nice and that the three youngins ate heartly.
Keeping my fingers crossed that Kevin doesn't slip into a depression.
Miss Em
Austell, Ga.
Thinking of you all and sending prayers...
A.
Reading your blog today just breaks my heart. I so wish things were different. Hopefully, Kevin will push the sad thoughts/realities from his mind tomorrow.
Do you think that Kevin forgets things, like will he actually forget seeing the photos? Or does he just push the bad thoughts from his mind? I was just wondering how he gets through these "triggers" that slap him in the face every now and then.
As a Mom, it must be so hard to watch Kevin and feel so helpless to take away the sadness and loss.
Hugs...
Hi Les,
I have been out of town with no internet access for 5 days, so I wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day a day late. Just got caught up reading the posts.
My heart goes out to you and Kevin and Breezy. You all have been thru so much, and I sit here and cry and wish I could take ALL your pain away. I wish I could give you all a hug. I wish I could turn back time and somehow, some way, change things. I wish I could just make everything better for all 3 of you.
Please know I read every day even tho I don't post. I know you have enough to read. Please know I think about all of you every day and send you positive and healing thoughts and send my love every day.
It breaks my heart to hear about Kevin's reaction to the pictures. And the reality about it is it SUCKS. But I want him to know he DOES have people that love and support him, we just can't be THERE to show him.
Please keep your chin up and stay strong lady. You are amazing.
Sending you all BIG HUGS AND ALL MY LOVE!
Andrew's Aunt Jodi
Loss is so hard. My fingers are crossed, I really hope that he is going through the normal process of mourning ... and that his discovery of the man he is begins. Even though you must sometimes feel so helpless, giving him the space and time and love he needs to grow into the man he is becoming is more powerful than trying to fix what you cannot.
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