Monday, June 14, 2010

Day 745 - Jun 13, 2010

Today was pretty rough. Kevin was just angry all day. I got tired of it a few hours into the afternoon and left. I just can't sit there and be treated like a piece of crap and he needs to learn it.

Unfortunately, he's been angry/miserable for a while now and it's just been getting worse and worse. I am sure it's that he is completely aware now of the changes in his life. It's also hard for us to see an end to the surgeries and therapies and it's hard to believe that we will ever have some form of normalcy.

In all honesty, for the last two years Kevin has lived in this haze of sorts that kept the reality of his life from him and the haziness is now gone. Sure he had moments where clarity reigned, but it always left as fast as it came.

Now he sees it. And there's no escaping it. And now we both just need to figure out how to deal with it.

I can only hope we figure it out rather quickly. There is absolutely no pleasing him and neither one of us can live this way much longer.


Miss Em said...

Hello Leslie and Kevin,

Leslie, go and talk to some of the other Warriors and their supporters about how they got threw their anger so you have some idea of how it could/should progress. They could also give you some markers on how to judge how Kevin is progressing through his anger.

Like you said Kevin is just getting a real grip on what has been lost and getting an understanding of his limits.

Anger management is going to be hard for Kevin because of his injury and the difficulties it causes him which will make it a very long drawn out process.

He may not appear to be strong but don't let that fool you. Frustrations and its anger can cause actions that are very unusual for Kevin.

GOOD LUCK and take care.
Prayers for you and Kevin.

Miss Em
Austell, Ga.

karen said...

Leslie and Kevin,

Anger is tough. And Leslie, you are right, you can't bear the brunt of it ... at least I don't think I could if I'd put as much of myself into somebody's healing as you have into his. (And I would, so take no criticism. Misguided anger would break my heart, no matter how justified it is.) I'm in tears for you thinking about it.

I would imagine there must be grief groups somewhere, and Miss Em is right, other Warriors must have wisdom and understanding that is exclusive to this tribe. I'm a big believer in *good* psychology, too, as it gave me techniques and tools to deal with my feelings of anger and hurt and responsibility over time.

And is there a support system somewhere for you, to give you relief from the feelings you might be cycling through?

Best wishes and encouragement,


Catherine said...

I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time. You've been through so much - a life time of crap - I hope life starts to get easier for you and soon!! Love you, miss you and think of you often~

GrannieEv said...

A dark day. I wonder how Kevin can learn to vent his anger. I'm sure you'll find the answer because you've found the answers to many more harder issues than this.

Miss Em said...

Hello Leslie and Kevin,


Nerf Bat...

Everytime Kevin gets angry/frustrated why not let him pound on an UNBREAKABLE objet with a Nerf Bat.

You never know.

Letting him vent that pent up anger/frustration will allow him a chance to get it out in a "good way".

If he needs to yell and curse then give him the Nerf Bat and let him beat the H#LL out of that UNBREAKABLE object while yelling and cursing at the object.
[Don't listen....
I got a feeling that it won't be something you'll want to hear.]

I think after a few times he will understand that that is better than having you leave.
Maybe with help he will say "Bat" and you will know that its time to get rid of the pent-up anger/frustration.

Remember this is just a WILD "HAIRY @$$" THOUGHT.

Miss Em
Austell, Ga.

Jessica said...

I hope you're able to get some help for Kevin so he can learn how to express his anger. Surely there is someone at the hospital who deals with TBIs and PTSD who could help. (Obviously, though, if it were that easy you'd already have had help, and should have had long ago.) Anyway, I wish I had some super deep words of wisdom or advice for you! I know you'll find a way; you always do.

I'll be thinking of you and praying that God will send someone to help Kevin through his anger and grief. Take care.