Day 365 - May 31, 2009

It was somewhere around 2:30ish on a Saturday afternoon and I saw that Breezy was calling my work phone. I thought that was odd, because we had just talked a little while before while I was at lunch, but I answered anyway. She was crying and I couldn't really understand what she was saying. I finally realized that she was telling me to just come outside and I remember thinking - for goodness sake - I am so tired of all the drama with her and her boyfriend. It never once occurred to me that it could be anything else.

But, I did walk outside to see what was going on and she was just holding her stomach and sobbing and screaming "I can't tell you! I can't say the words! I just can't tell you!" I honestly just had no idea what was going on. I finally got her to stand still long enough for her to really look at me and she just broke. She handed me this piece of paper with a phone number on it and said that Kevin had been injured.

I went into shock first and then denial. There was just no way. How would she find out before me?

But she did (and that's a whole different story).

So her and I ran back into the office that I worked in with the rest of my department and I remember slamming the door and we were both crying so loud and shaking so badly. Matter of fact, my hands were shaking so violently that it took many tries to get the phone number dialed. I had to keep hanging up and trying again and finally I had Breezy hold my wrist still long enough for me to punch in the numbers.

I did manage to get through and talk to someone at whatever department of the Army they had me call and he just told me that at that point Kevin was alive, but that his wounds were extremely severe and he was in very critical condition. They listed all of his injuries and it turns out that the list was in no way accurate.

I was still shaking so bad and just crying and I honestly just couldn't imagine being the person on the other end of the line. I remember thinking about that at the time that he was telling me things - my mind was just going off into all different directions - and I realized that I needed to write everything down. I had to have Breezy write it all because I truly couldn't even hold a pen.

I think I lost a bit of time at about now because I don't remember what happened next, but somehow I just shut everything down and started to leave work. I didn't care that my day wasn't done - but I did try to tell a supervisor and when she couldn't acknowledge me because she was on the phone - I just started to leave.

As I was headed for the door - my friend Cathy saw us and I think she new immediately. I'm sure she (and everyone) assumed the worst, but I did tell them he was still alive. Cathy took me and Breezy home and from there - I couldn't tell you. I have no idea how long she stayed. I know that I called my family - but I don't remember doing it. I assume I called Moe and everyone else too - but I don't remember that either.

I do vaguely remember people coming in and out. Personally - I just wanted everyone to get lost. I know a couple of Breezy's friends came over and one of them just kept talking about going out and how they had to figure out where they were going that night and I think I told Breezy to get her the hell out of my house. I know that so many of my friends came too, as did my sister. I really just wanted everyone to go home.

I know that I didn't sleep for days. I was told I could call every 8 hours and get an update, but I admit that I did call more often than that. They never had anything new to tell me anyway, but the unknowing was just killing me and I had to do something.

That was probably the worst part. If I had been a wealthy person - I probably would have been on a plane to Landstuhl (sp) Germany to see him. I just needed to see him and make sure he really was alive. To make sure he was okay. It was unfathomable to me that my baby was so seriously wounded all the way on the other side of the world and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I mean seriously - maybe they made a mistake, right?

But we all know they didn't.

I think I lay in the fetal position in my master bath on my pink shag rug for hours over the next couple of days. It was the only place I could go that people would just leave me alone. I do remember one time someone knocking on the door and I just screamed for them to go away and leave me alone and it turned out to be Breezy. She came in and we just held each other and sobbed for such a long time while laying there on the floor. She was the only person that could even begin to understand what this was like. Her and Kevin had always been so close and I knew she would never make it through this if the worst should happen - she had already lost so many people around her - including her best friend.

You guys just can't imagine the despair. You wonder if he is going to make it. And how you will live if he doesn't. And things are just foggy sometimes because it's like you are a zombie. And then there's the disbelief - I mean this really can't be happening, right? It's just someone's idea of a sick joke. Or it is a mistake. And then there's anger - I mean how can they send 19 year old kids over to place like that? How can they not train them better? Longer? And sometimes this little ray of hope shines through - just not very often. It's often enough to keep us going though and that's all we need.

We pretty much all know what happened next. It took 2 days for me to see my son. Cathy drove us to the airport and upon arrival, our liaison took us straight to the hospital. As I mentioned in my post on June 4 of last year - I did faint immediately upon seeing Kevin. I just couldn't imagine this person being my baby. This person had no lips and goggles on and a ventilator and was completely covered in bandages. Only his toes stuck out. I didn't think it was Kevin - there was so much hope there that maybe they really did make a mistake - but Breezy told me to look at the toes - they were definitely Kevin's. Darn her for being so sensible when I needed to think that the Army messed up and Kevin was somewhere eating slop in a tent.

I can't begin to tell everyone how horrifying those days were. We have had so many horrible days in the past year, but I have to be, and am, thankful that Kevin is still alive.

To Andrew's family and to James' family too - we ended up being lucky and I am so incredibly sorry that it didn't work out that way for you. I did cry a lot on the ride home today and it wasn't because of what we have lost - I am the type of person that will always make the best of what I've got - but it was because of the loss of both Andrew and James. For all of the horror that we went through - we, at least, had a possible light at the end of the tunnel. You did not. I just want you all to know that your boys will never be forgotten by anyone in my family and if there is anything that we can ever do for any of you - please don't hesitate to ask. I also sincerely hope that your pain has lessened in the past year and I wish a full recovery for Daniel and as any mother would wish for - for Kevin too.

May James and Andrew Rest in Peace.

Day 364 - May 30, 2009

Tomorrow is the day...

But I just can't think about it yet.

So, we are smack dab in the middle of South Carolina tonight. Don't ask me the name of the town as I would have no idea, but the desk clerk told me we weren't near Georgia yet. Darn. I sure wish we were closer to home.

But we did drive about 12 hours today so it shouldn't be too bad for the rest of the trip. I'm glad. I am forcing myself not to think about what tomorrow marks until I do get home and can give it free rein. I can't be bawling in front of Kevin, now can I?

And now I am off to bed. Another short post as I am just so tired.

Day 363 - May 29, 2009

I am actually going to skip writing tonight because I still have to get everything packed and ready to roll tomorrow.

We did have an awesome day, but I have to apologize to anyone that made the trip out to EB and missed us. It was just so cold out and truthfully - Kevin is just at the end of how much stimulation he can handle. I think we were only there about a half hour, but I promise we will do better in July. At least the weather should be a little better.

Anyway, assuming there will be internet in the hotel we stay at, I will write tomorrow. If I don't post, then I will catch y'all the next night.

Day 362 - May 28, 2009

We had a pretty good day today. For the beginning of the day, Kevin was kind of tired and cranky, but he made up for it tonight. He was with all his buddies while I went out to dinner with the girls I used to work with. As soon as Ronnie and Evan and Grant all walked in - he was in fine form.

After a few hours, most of the guys left and after I got home, Ronnie's family all came to visit. They are such nice people and I can see where Ronnie became such a fine young man. He has been with Kevin most of the week and it has made Kevin just so much more of his old self.

Here is a photo of the whole group:



And here is some video that Ronnie shot:



It's just amazing to see Kevin walking without his cane, isn't it? Geez...I think he even walks better without it - probably because he doesn't have to lean to the side to get down to cane height. I don't know why, but rest assured - he will be walking more without it now that I know he can.

And tomorrow will be our last day here in PA. We are heading home on Saturday (so far anyway) because we need to go home and just rest for a few days before heading back to Texas. So as I mentioned in the tweener post - we will be at the playground in EB tomorrow at 2pm for those that would like to send us off. It's going to be very hard for us to leave, but we need to get back to therapy if Kevin is going to continue to improve and that's the only thing we can really focus on for the next year or so. I'm sure you can all agree that we have come through some horrific times, but now the down and dirty work begins. I personally think that the last year was harder on me than Kevin - because he doesn't remember hardly any of it - but the next year is definitely going to be harder on him. It's going to take some hard work and quite a few surgeries to improve his quality of life.

And since y'all seem to be along for the ride? Well...I hope we can all get through it together.

An In-Between Post

We are planning to leave on Sat because I think Kevin has really had enough stimulation for a little while. We are at the point where he is sleeping a lot and that tells me it's time to go back to FL.

So...because there are so many people we didn't get to see yet (or even didn't get to see enough of) we are planning to go to the playground pavilion in East Brady tomorrow (Friday) at 2pm and stay until Kevin just can't stay any longer.

We would like to invite everyone that would like to meet/see him to come and just BS with us. Real friends, blog friends, you name it - we'll be there.

Day 361 - May 27, 2009

Well, the visit with Tim was relatively painless. I actually left Kevin with him while I ran to pick up dinner and Tim was only here about an hour or so, so I was able to handle it. I was really worried about how Kevin was going to manage it, but he seemed so blase about it that it was like he was seeing someone from the grocery store or something. I suppose that's kinda how it is - they don't really know each other at all. So that's it for a while and now things can resume back to normal.

And unfortunately my battery in my camera died. I forgot my charger so it looks like I may have to wait until I get home to download today's photos. I will just have to use my phone for the rest of our trip too. I think we are leaving Saturday so we will be ok.

And today we had the Pittsburgh Post Gazette following us around throughout the afternoon. I believe they will be doing a feature on Kevin sometime in July. Very nice people they were.

And to end tonight's post because I am still so tired, I plan on being at my old workplace tomorrow with Kevin around noon in the cafeteria downstairs. I don't think we are allowed in the building, but (as suggested) the cafeteria is a public place. I sure hope my old friends and coworkers can stop down and see us. It's hard to have had all these people in your life daily and then BAM! you're gone. I miss everyone and I actually miss having a job. You would all laugh to know that I was at the bank one day a couple months ago and I had to use a paperclip and I got all teary. Just using a paperclip for goodness sake...But it was part of my past life and it's hard when it's all gone in an instant.

Oh well, no need to go down that road...

Day 360 - May 26, 2009

Well...Kevin and I were both sleeping by 8pm last night. I sat on the couch and that was it. Thank goodness Breezy called or you guys just wouldn't have seen anything this morning.

But anyway, yesterday was a really good day for us. Tracy went all out and had a nice picnic with good food and a welcome home sign and everything. Kevin had quite a few of his friends show up and he really did have a good time. Here are some pics:




And sadly, yet again, I didn't get any pics of Tracy with Kevin. The only one I do have is of her standing behind him making rabbit ears, lol:



And before I forget - I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day. I received some very nice photos of the service over on the other side of the USA from Jodi, Andrew's Aunt. I would like to post one or two, but don't want to do so without Jodi's permission. I would totally understand if she wanted it kept private as days like yesterday bring all of the pain of losing Andrew back. I'm sure there's pride involved as well, but the loss has to be prominent. (and Jodi - I just saw tonight you called? Don't have a clue how I missed it so I will try to call you back tomorrow)

And now I want to try to answer some more comments.

To the anon person that asked if that was the Sheetz in Kittanning - it sure was.

Lorraine, Rick and my good friend Kristen - I hope I do get to see you guys next time. Sorry you couldn't make it to the Allstars and the Cloud.

And I keep needing reminded about the list of words so here goes. I am sure I am going to miss some of them because the list is somewhere in a box at home:

Hi
Bye
Thanks
Thank you
Geez
Gawd
What?
No
Yes
We're not worthy (from the Wayne's World movie)
Hey you guys (from The Goonies movie)
Hello
Oh! Dawgs! (with a British accent - no clue if this is from a movie or what)
Open up
How long?
No way
I love you
I love you, Mom
Mom
Brianna (sounds like Bonna)
Why?
Hola (spanish for hello)
Money
Ow
Hey
Oooh
Ball
Water
Love
Dena (one of his nurses)
DeeDee (another nurse)
Steelers
Yep
Okay

I am sure I am missing a few...

He was able to say drink for about 3 days but hasn't been able to for months now. It's very strange because he gets stuck and just can't get past something. Like when he tries to say anyone's name it comes out as Mom because he is always calling me. I sure hope this gets better in time. It's so hard watching him try to say something and he just can't.

Now wish me luck - Kevin wanted to see Tim and he is coming tomorrow night. I just hope I can be civil...

Day 359 - May 25, 2009

Hey it's Breezy. I just called mom and her and Kevin are sleeping. She wanted me to get on here and let everyone know that she will write tonight if she wakes up but if not then she will tomorrow. They had a busy day today. Thanks again.

Day 358 - May 24, 2009

I had a great time last night, but even better - so did Kevin. To begin with him, it was very upsetting for him to be going to my sisters overnight and he was adamant that he wasn't going. I know it was more separation anxiety than anything else, but it all worked out in the end because his friend Ronnie picked him up and they took off for a night out. Here are some pics of the two of them leaving for the night. You may think Ronnie looks familiar and that's because he visited us in Florida a few months ago.




Kevin was just so excited to be going and doing something with Ronnie. He was grinning from ear to ear. And something great too - Ronnie couldn't remember how to get to my sister's and Kevin directed him right to her house.

Once there, a bunch of his friends (and my sister and her family) got together for a bonfire. I am told Kevin had a blast and stayed up quite late just hanging out. Here are some photos of that:




Kevin is really having a good time while we are here and I can't wait to see how he does tomorrow at the picnic.

And, as I mentioned, us girls had fun too. I only took one picture (and that was at the beginning of the night), and here it is:



Today we hung around my sister Kim's all day and I got to visit with some of my friends from waaaayyy back in high school!

After that we had pizza and then took some family photos. Here is my sister Dawn's family:



And this is my sister Kim's family:



And to finish out tonight's post, here is a photo of Kevin and I (because they are so rare). I think we have a natural photographer in our midst as my 6 year old nephew took this shot:

Day 357 - May 23, 2009

I won't be able to write tonight like normal because I will be going out with my friends, so I figured I would just drop a few lines today.

First, to all of my local friends - I will be at the Allstars at 9pm tonight so if you are from out of town, that's where we will begin our night. I don't care who comes - even if you are a blog friend - come and enjoy the night. I would love to meet all the bloggers too!

Now to all of Kevin's friends - we are having a get-together Monday around 2pm at Derek Jack's house. You can call either him or his mom (Tracy) at 724-526-5959 for directions or you can look for the Army tank in Brady's Bend and turn up that road. It's the house on the left corner of the curve in the road.

I would like to ask (please) that only people that were 'active' friends of Kevin's before he left for the Army come. I just can't have a hundred kids show up that Kevin barely knows. Sounds mean, but again - it's only to protect him.

And I am going to quickly touch on just a few of the comments from the past few days.

Lisa - no worries about the pool - it's already covered. His french doors lock with a key and I have it. Also, an alarm system is being put on all 5 exits in the house so that I can hear should he try to 'escape', lol.

Long Time RN - everyone thinks Moe and I are sisters. If we had a buck for every time we have been asked that we would both be so rich, lol. After probably the fiftieth time, we gave up trying to explain and now we just go along with it.

To Shari and everyone else that would love to see us - it will probably have to wait until the next trip. Our schedule is so packed because I have to limit the amount of activity in the day. Only getting 10 days to be here really isn't much. I'm sorry - but July is right around the corner and I am hoping we can stay longer at that point.

Retta - the renovations weren't finished when we got home from TX, but they were supposed to by yesterday. As for the pool, it can't be started until the other renovations are completed so maybe Tuesday they will start digging. I hope most of the noise is done before we get back from PA (although we will only be in FL a week or so before heading back to TX so it probably doesn't matter much)

Miss Em - is Austell anywhere near Rte 95?

Barbara - don't worry. When Kevin really starts to ride a skateboard he will have to wear a helmet. I'm sure it will be quite a fight, but that's the way it's going to be.

BigD - I would love some info for the Dew Tour. We are less than an hour from Orlando and I know Kevin would love that!

And now I need to get around and end this post. I do want to finish with a big surprise. Kevin and I discussed him seeing Tim's parents - Kevin's grandparents. I did call them yesterday and they came to visit today. Very hard for me as I do have a bit of resentment at how they ignored my kids. However, I am trying to be adult and let go of it all and all in all I think the visit went well. So I am going to end with a photo of Kevin with Fred and Louise:

Day 356 - May 22, 2009

Whew! What a day again! Kevin is really doing well, but we did have to 'get away' for a while this afternoon. It was understandable because we were sitting along Main St under a big shade tree so there was a ton of traffic (small town traffic - not city traffic, lol) and so many people stopped to chat when they saw us. Ahhhh...we sure love being home...

We did manage to make it to the high school today and we saw lots of people we knew and I got to meet Pat and I saw Lori and some of the other teachers too. Kevin just kept remembering everything and he really had a great visit. Here is a photo of Kevin with Pat and the next one is of him with his friend Levi:




I have to laugh because every time we drive past Levi's house Kevin is frantically trying to get me to stop and see him.

This next photo is of Kevin with a young boy who holds such a very special place in my heart. His name is Levi too and I missed him so very much. He used to come and stay over and we would just have the most fun. I love you, buddy!



And then this evening Moe came over and we ordered pizza and then we drove back over to Brady (we are staying in Butler) and visited some more. Kevin went into the grocery store again and he just walked and walked and walked. He never once took a break and I was so surprised.

For those of you that didn't know - Kev used to be a stockboy there and it was so funny because Tracy (his old boss) told him to get in the back yesterday and start unloading the truck and Kevin started to head that way. I seriously think he would've done it too if we'd have let him, lol.

And that about sums it up for today.

Day 355 - May 21, 2009

Kevin did so remarkably well today that even I was amazed. He was able to handle almost everything - the only thing he couldn't was all the birthday singing at Texas Roadhouse for dinner.

So to begin our day (lots of photos today) we went to my work and visited with my friends. It was just so nice to see everyone and I regret that I didn't take one picture while there. I do plan to go back and visit again so I will at that time.

We then went to the grocery store where Kevin worked and we hung out there for quite a while. Kevin walked into the store instead of riding in his wheelchair and the first person he saw was Moe. Fitting - as she is his second mom. Here is a pic of the two of them:



After that, we went up to the Allstars for lunch and that pizza with ranch dressing, bacon, onions and green peppers was even better than I remembered! Heaven, I say!

While we were there, some of Kevin's friends came down and here is a pic of Kevin getting in Evan's face. Kevin was a ham all day and had everyone laughing their butts off.



This photo is of some of the 'gang' that got together while we were having lunch. Notice Kevin's not even holding onto his cane - he is holding his beloved skateboard! (oh, and I don't think I mentioned yet that Kevin has been taking steps without his cane so he probably won't be using it much longer)



This next photo is of Kev and some of the guys. They had gotten everyone to sign a 'get well soon' skateboard and Kevin was checking it all out:



Here is Kevin checking out his very own skate park:



And these next two he is 'skating'. Notice he is trying to actually jump his board (Ollie?) I'll bet he is doing it by next year:




This next photo is of Kevin and one of the councilmen (Jeff) who came down to unlock the skatepark (not sure why it was locked? defeats the purpose if you ask me...). If y'all read the comments, Jeff posts sometimes and it was a real pleasure to finally meet him.



While at the park, Tracy called and we then popped over to her house for about 15 minutes and I stupidly didn't take pics there either.

And then we went to dinner and here is a 'family' photo. It's of Moe and her boyfriend, then me, then my sis Kim, her mother in law Anne, down to Kevin, my nephew Michael and my bro in law Joe:



We really had a great day all around and I can only hope that Kevin continues to handle everything so well. I have a funny feeling that it is going to be awful hard to go back to Florida...

Day 354 - May 20, 2009

This is Breezy. Mom is not able to write tonight because the cable wasn't turned on yet. She wants to let everyone know that they made it home fine and that she will write tomorrow night.

Day 353 - May 19, 2009

The question shouldn't have been whether Kevin could handle the ride - but could I? Holy crap! He just wanted me to drive straight through and there was no way. I am old. I am tired. And my body hurts from sitting in the same position all day.

He, on the other hand, gets to recline in his seat, has pillows under his head, his shoes off and has total control of the radio and everything else in the vehicle. He was even telling me how to drive - pass, don't let that car pass you, don't stop to pee, you name it.

I tell ya - he has it made. I don't think any of us should feel bad for him anymore - y'all should feel bad for ME! LOL!!

So needless to say - we are on the North side of Charlotte, NC and we should make it home in the evening sometime tomorrow. We drove about 10 hours today and I really could've handled it if Kevin would have let me sleep last night. I think he was just so excited to go home that he was wound really tight. But, because he didn't allow me to sleep - I am signing off very early and going to bed.

And before I forget - to the locals of EB - Kevin will be occupied on Sat night and I will be out with Moe and the gang - so stop by either the Allstars or the Cloud and see me. I couldn't advertise it when I went home the last time because it was a birthday surprise trip (not to mention that it was very last minute) - but this time, I sure hope to see everyone!

Day 352 - May 18, 2009

Yay! We are going home! We only got 15 days leave so I am hurrying around here getting everything ready to leave in the morning. I so wish we would've had the extra time, but that's a whole different story and I don't have time to get into it right now.

I do need to cut this short because I still have so much to do. I am still packing, doing laundry, trying to get Kevin to go to sleep and cleaning out the fridge, etc.

We ended up having to rent a car because the check engine light came on in the van, so we are cruising in style (so glad I asked for a free upgrade :-) ) and I surely hope that Kevin can handle the lengthy ride.

And as an FYI - if I don't write tomorrow night it's because the hotel we will end up staying at won't have free wi-fi. Usually they all do, but I am just warning everyone in case...

So, did I mention we are FINALLY GOING HOME???!!!!

Day 351 - May 17, 2009

Today I left Kevin with my parents for the afternoon and I went and did some shopping. I was supposed to do something fun, but I was still a little blah after all of the emotions from last night so I didn't plan ahead and find something 'fun' to do. So I just shopped for things that Kevin doesn't have the patience to look at. Boring!

Other than that, Kevin did a lot of sleeping today. I think he's trying to catch up because he really hasn't been sleeping well lately. He tries - he really does - it just doesn't work some nights. I suppose it's part of a brain injury...

And I do believe we will be coming home to EB this week sometime. I don't have specifics because of his leave not being approved yet, but I want to take the time to explain/request some things before we get there. Basically - this post is to prepare everyone for Kevin.

First - Kevin can't handle a lot of noise or stimulation. I don't mention it much, but we really do sit in a silent environment about 95% of the time. Very rarely does he watch tv with the sound on (if he has it on it is muted), maybe once every two weeks he will listen to the radio in the car, he doesn't even touch his iPod anymore and most of the time he can't handle a lot of people around. This is not to say he is reclusive because sometimes he is just awesome to be around - laughing and joking and having a good time - it's just that those times are rare throughout the day. I always focus on them though because it keeps us going.

Second - Kevin has no social niceties and if he is over-stimulated he will just wheel/walk away. Don't take offense - it's just him taking care of himself.

Third - I have no idea what (or who) Kevin is going to remember and what (or who) he's not. Please don't be hurt if he doesn't remember you or things you have done together. He honestly can't help it.

Fourth - remember that Kevin can't really be in the sun much. If you see us outside, we won't be out there long and we won't be able to 'chat' unless we go inside.

Fifth - I have no idea how Kevin is going to handle seeing his friends while knowing how much he has changed. The hardest part will be him not being able to talk and it won't surprise me if he takes it hard for the first couple of days. The next thing is going to be how different he looks. He may slide into a depressed mood while we are there and if that happens - we will leave for FL earlier than expected.

Sixth - remember that he can't read everything and doesn't know all of the normal basic things. He also often gets confused. I asked him to turn the light off twice yesterday and he had no idea what that meant. He's come a long way - but he still has a long way to go. And I would like to request that you just take it in stride if he is confused and not laugh at him.

I only ask that everyone understand that Kevin is very different than he used to be - yet in so many ways he is still the same ol' Kev. Don't be afraid to approach him, but just be aware that he's changed.

And I know...I'm being too protective...but honestly - he may not be able to handle all of this and I need all of us to be prepared for it. I am preparing myself too because I go through it all with him and if this trip is rough for him, then it's going to be rough on me too. I have to go in with my eyes wide open and ready for all possibilities and this is my way of doing that.

So sorry if I have offended anyone by asking for special considerations - it's just that I know everyone is going to be as excited to see us as we are to see you and I just needed to put the changes in Kevin out there.

Now keep your fingers crossed that we get 30 days leave and not 15 (or I should say leave at all - you just never know). 15 will mean a whirlwind trip with barely any time there. 30 will give us a week or two. We do need to come home to FL and rest before heading back to Texas before the middle of June so I do want to try to be back here around the 2nd or 3rd...

Day 350 - May 16, 2009

Honestly, I just don't think I have it in me to really write much tonight. It's strange and some of you will think it's just plain out weird, but I just watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and it nearly killed me. It brought all of the emotions out for Kevin that I felt in the beginning - partly because he looked a little like George did after George stepped in front of the bus - both from his wounds and then later when he was in his uniform. It was also so like I imagined Kevin's initial surgeries were - before he even left Afghanistan. It's really just too much because I just keep seeing George and Kevin all rolled up into one person.

Crazy, I know...but sometimes the weirdest things set me off on a crying jag and this time - it's effected both myself and Breezy. She feels exactly as I do and we both agree that if George lives - we will not be able to continue to watch it. It's just too close to home and we can't 'go through' it again - even if it is a TV show.

Ok - so just ignore all the rambling about a stupid show and I will 'talk normal' tomorrow night...

Day 349 - May 15, 2009

There will just be no stopping him now. YAY! When Kevin started walking really well while in Texas, I told him he could not use his wheelchair at home anymore - he had to walk around the house. Today he did just that and I no longer even watch him. I was very happy to see that he always puts his brace and shoes on before walking as it's so important for his balance and he just goes wherever he wants now. Today he even went outside on the lanai and plopped his butt down on the beach chair I have out there.

Matter of fact, here is a pic of him just sitting there relaxing:



Just look at that grin on his face...

Nothing else really happened today. We stayed home and I cooked a nice meal for just the two of us and we just relaxed all day. I did spend some time on the phone trying to get this con leave set up and (of course) it's nothing but a hassle. I don't feel like getting all worked up again though so I am not going into it. I am, however, going to focus on some of the comments/questions from the last week or so.

To everyone that was worried about me being upset from the advice and responses to my posts - it just comes with the territory and y'all should know that I don't get mad/upset easily. Basically - this blog is written for me to let my feelings go and for Kevin to be able to read one day. I have to be honest and say that I never expected it to become an 'interactive' blog, but I feel that things always happen for a reason and this is just how it's supposed to be (and I don't know what I would do without all the support - I love you guys!). That being said, you should all know that I respect every opinion and suggestion. I don't always agree, but that's what differences in people are about. So anyway, I do appreciate it all and I know that nearly all of you have our best interests at heart.

One more thing about that though - when I come back with a response to someone's post and I don't agree with what a person has to say - I never do it with malice or anger. It's just my take on it and it allows you to know what I think of an opinion.

And Jessica - I'm a 'fixer' too so no worries, lol.

Lucy Jane - I miss Vinnie so much! That boy was only Kevin's roommate for a few weeks, but he touched this spot in my heart so much. I wish I had time to do the Facebook thing too, but I just don't.

BigD - you mentioned your son going back into the hospital - is he doing ok?

Gretchen - OMG! I miss you so much! I was just reading your blog the night before you posted and I see you moved back from France! Did you have that baby yet? LOVE YOU!

Alison - how's the new job going?

To those that mentioned the big brother possibility - I really like that idea. I would love to have someone around Kevin's age that would do things with him. He has come so far, but our world is so small. It's mostly just me and him and I believe that is hard on both of us. It's probably why my posts are so long. It's not easy living with someone that can't have a conversation and when I am posting I am essentially 'talking' in my head to everyone. I'm sure it's the same for him - he really needs some guys around.

Mommaski - can you see if there are any sky soldiers that are in their early twenties that would be interested? If there isn't anyone in that age bracket - I will look elsewhere. I really want him to have 'friends' and they need to be around his age.

If that doesn't work - I will check with the VFW (thanks Em!)

That would just be so great for him...

Day 348 - May 14, 2009

We are HOME!! I got the call at about 7am and we had to be at the hospital by noon today. I can't begin to tell y'all how wonderful it is to be home. Kevin was just one happy person all day. What a transformation.

And I am not going to write anything much tonight because we just spent the day in flight and I am too tired to type a lot.

In the meantime, you may all remember that we had lunch with my friend Janet last week and I would like to ask that everyone keep her son, Matt, in their thoughts for a little bit. He had surgery today and it didn't turn out as they had hoped. He will be fine, but it just could've been better.

Catch everyone tomorrow.

Oh - and to the person that asked where we would like to be on day 365 - home in PA. I am working on that right now - there's a little thing called convalescent leave and I have put in for it. If we get it, Kevin and I are driving to PA and it is my goal to be there on his anniversary. He wants to come home so bad and I do too.

Wish us luck!

Day 347 - May 13, 2009

Kev and I are getting really lazy, lol. We have fallen into this routine of getting up at 9 for meds, falling back to sleep for another hour or so, getting showered, going for lunch, going to PT, taking a real long nap and then going to dinner around 7 or so and coming home where we maybe walk a bit and then he goes to bed and I sit in the bathroom and type away.

I can honestly say that I am not a nap taker - or at least I didn't used to be. But man, I am really liking this 2 or 3 hour sleep at around 4pm. I hope it can continue when we get home, but I'll bet it won't.

So anyway, here are some photos that I took both yesterday and today. The first 3 are from The Alamo.





And these are from today. The first one is of Pam and Kevin. Pam is our favorite physical therapist!



And tonight we went over to the hospital and visited Marshall, Breezy's boyfriend. Here are some pics of the two of them joking around:




Now these last few are dedicated to Pam (PT). We used to discuss how Kevin loved extreme sports. Well, they have this ramp area that goes up to an auditorium and we always said that Kevin would probably love it if we took him up to the top and just left him go. Yes - Pam - here it is...just for you! Extreme Wheelchair Racing:

Concocting the plan (you can see the guilt on Kevin's face and I admit to being clueless at this point):



Still clueless. I was just thinking the boys were looking around:



I was starting to get a feeling here...



And at this point I had to jump out of the way or be run over!



And then comes the celebratory handshake at which point Mom is spastic.




Can you tell these guys are brothers? Marshall is also part of The Herd (173rd Airborne) and was wounded 2 weeks after Kevin. From what I see - these guys all have a special bond...