Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day 1103 - Jun 6, 2011

Today Kevin had his appt with the rec therapist, but it didn't go as well as I had hoped. Kevin gave off the impression that he didn't want to be there and didn't want to do anything. Frankly, it made me mad.

I told him that if he were 82 I would let it go that all he wants to do is stay in his room and watch movies, but at 22 - it's ridiculous. He should want to be up and running around, but he just doesn't want to try new things and keep busy. I typically have to manipulate him into doing things and it's getting tiresome. But if I leave him just lie in bed all the time he could become suicidal again and I hope to never revisit that time in our lives (and I know I never brought that part of our lives to the blog - it was just too painful at the time to throw out to the public).

So we had a long talk on the way home and I am hoping it helps. He is going back tomorrow and I am going to just drop him off at the hospital and we'll see what happens. Jose (the therapist) thinks he may be able to get through to Kevin and I can only hope. There is talk of a rock wall climbing excursion later this month and I am hoping Kevin will play along for that one.

Wish us luck!


Lorraine said...

Good Luck and Good Luck to Jose! Come on Kevin there is alot of living you can do! ! Hope the day goes better for you both. Lorraine and Rick

karen said...

Fingers crossed! And I can't say I blame you for keeping certain things private until you are ready to say them "out loud" ... sometimes holding one's breath is all one can do, eh?!

Pattie Matheson said...

I'm thinking there may be an element of fear for Kevin with regard to trying new things. The best hope is that he'll discover, as we all do, that once he gets out and about - especially with young men who understand where he's coming from - he'll get into it. Fingers crossed!

As for the suicidal thoughts, even tho you didn't mention it - understandably - those of us with some tread on us probably assumed it happened at some point. Shucks, I went thru that when I was first disabled and my situation doesn't even remotely compare to Kevin's. I was diagnosed 16 years ago and at that time I couldn't imagine facing the last half of my life in pain all the time. My very wise Dr told me I'd get used to it and learn to work with/around my limitations. Made me mad as a cornered snake and took a couple of years to adjust. And again, no comparison to Kevin's pain. Now I live in the margins between the difficult times and have found ways to contribute (Soldiers Angels and the Patriot Guard Riders, pet sitting) so that I don't feel so much like a waste of space. I guess I shouldn't say I only live in the margins because when I have to be in bed I read, and when I can't read I listen to books. And of course there's Netflix. Thanks to my grown son I've begun to explore that world and have close to 400 movies and documentaries, mostly documentaries, lined up to watch/listen to. Everything is relative I guess....