Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Day 418 - Jul 21, 2009

I wish I knew how to start this post. To be honest - I am just very angry that someone from Kevin's father's (and I really use that term loosely) side of the family would post a reason that Tim did not come to the ceremony or parade.

First - Tim's mother told me that the reason that Tim did not come is because he knew that many people in East Brady didn't like him because of what he did to his kids. I will agree with that and can see no reason why people should like him. BUT - that is no reason to stay away. For goodness sakes - grow up! THIS WAS YOUR SON'S MOST IMPORTANT DAY!!!!!

Second - it just makes me spit nails that Tim can't see past himself to do what his children need. Anyone that sends a text message saying "Happy Birthday" to a kid that we know can't read everything really has only his own interests at heart (I mean really! How much harder would a 30 second phone call be?).

Sunday wasn't about Tim's fears or his sudden wish to eliminate stress. What added more stress was Kevin wanting his father there and Tim not caring enough to show up. Especially on a day that Kevin really could have used him.

I actually told Tim's parents on Sunday that we are very tired of opening doors up to them and them continually slamming them in our faces. Numerous times over the years the kids have attempted to re-enter their lives. I called both his grandparents and Tim and invited them down here the last time. I thought both times went decently well and thought maybe they would be there for Kevin from then on. But did either of them ever contact Kevin again? No.

How much more can you all expect us to do? Seriously??

God! You honestly think that I could give two shits whether you are there or not, Tim? I would have felt nothing to see you in the crowd - that's how little you mean to me. But all of the stress that you do cause is only because your kids (for some unknown reason) care about you and are always devastated when you let them down once again.

I am just mad right now! How dare an anonymous family member try to make Tim sound like a paragon of virtue when we all can see the truth!! It's always been one excuse after another and I would imagine every single person that reads this blog has already seen the light!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well written Leslie!! Michelle Long

Anonymous said...

You know Leslie- it is what it is. The many of us on the blog did not even give it the second thought that Kevin's dad would not be there. You did handle the introduction of his grandparents well - I assume you did not know they would be there when you prepared introductions. Kevin will be okay - he has turned out to be a wonderful young man, soldier, son, brother, HERO without his father in his life. When others try to defend his actions it only makes his actions look more ludicruous - who wouldn't want to be a prt of Kevin's life? Many of us here on this blog would give anything to be able to help you and your family. we can in small ways - attending this ceremony, giving you support, reminding you that you are not alone, and just trying to reach out and hold your hand through it all.

It is what it is. Remember when you allow others to make you defensive, you have surrendered all your control. It's okay that he wasn't there - kevin had more supporters there who WANTED to be there versus someone who felt he / she HAD to be there. I, personally drove from FC to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to FC, and then FC to Brady and did it in record time to spend a couple minutes paying tribute to a COMPLETE stranger, to take a couple pictures, and to shake your hand and tell you what a wonderful mom I thought you were.

"When you swim with sharks, don't let them see you bleed."

I think the world of you and your family, Leslie. I know that Kevin is a TRUE HERO. I hope this visit to Brady will give him even more fight for progression.

Keep your chin up and keep on going. Google "How to swim with sharks" and read.

Hallie

Anonymous said...

It was a very moving ceremony.

The word "THANKS" now has such a special meaning as hearing it echo from Kevin's mouth meant the world to all of us.

He had such pride standing up on that stage. His smile was so contagious. He was with family. Sure not all blood family, yet with his hometown full of people who love him and care so much about him. His "hometown family". How could you not feel the love while standing in that crowd ??

All of the articles, the videos and the numerous photos that will probably still come rolling in just shows the pride we ALL have in Kevin.

In reading the Pittsburgh newspaper article and smiling while reading the quote from one of Kevin's doctors, which read ( for those who did not see the newspaper ) :

"Earlier this month in Tampa, Dr. Steven Scott, director of polytrauma at the veterans hospital where Kevin was a patient from September until May, said his recovery has astounded him and other medical personnel.

"It's not typical progress," he said. "It's a miracle. No one ever thought he would ever wake up, let alone that he would communicate. When he came here, he was staring into space. He went from nothing to something, to where he's now interacting with his environment."

For everyone who ever doubts, God does indeed hear our prayers and miracles do still happen.

Just look at Kevin Kammerdiener.
A miracle..in progress.

MOE said...

I have to say something about an early post from a Kammerdiener family memeber.......

It kills me that Tim claims the reason for not being at his own son's Purple Heart ceremony is because he didn't want to cause any stress. His own mother said it was because he knew people didn't like him. In either case is that any reason not to attend? I think not! He could of easily stood in the crowd and noone would of even known he was there, But "NO" he just chose to not go at all and make up stupid excuses of why he wasn't there. This was such an honor for his son, and he couldn't even grow a pair of balls and suck it up and just go!

"He did what he felt was best for everyone" That is pure BULL!!! He did what was best for "TIM" not everyone!

Tim stayed "involved" through family memebers....What?? Are you kidding me?? How involved is that? Hell, hearing someone talk about the ceremony and being there are two totally different things

I just read a someone's post that said that they drove from FC to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to FC, and then FC to Brady and did it in record time to spend a couple minutes paying tribute to a COMPLETE stranger. Now how sad is it that Kevin's own father couldn't drive...what maybe 45 min to see his son get a Purple Heart? Very, Very sad if you ask me!!!!!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses.... I guess that's what we'll always just get from Tim! Should we expect anything less from a father that has never been there before??

Jess said...

It's really pathetic that a family member who remains anonymous had to speak on his behalf. All the progress and dedication comes from Leslie and Brianna and a community behind them. Mama Leslie your amazing and don't let him stress you because they love to make excuses. I love all three of you and always will!! I on the other hand will NOT remain Anonymous!!!!

CherylB said...

I just finished watching the Purple Heart ceremony on the A-Channel. I had tears running down my face. You and Breezy are remarkable, all the love and support. Too see Kevin walking and following directions was great...all of the progress that he has made would not have happened without you and Breezy. He looks fantastic.
As for an absent father, Tim is the one that will look back some day and realize that he screwed up! I know from experience with my own biological father, he only wanted to be part of my life when he found out that he had terminal cancer. Too little too late! Kevin and Breezy have all of the love from you and everyone around them! Although, it is sad he couldn't show up for something this important to honor his son, a hero.
Kevin I still can't find the words to Thank you...there's just not enough words to say it!
You are all truly a wonderful family! Every morning I look forward to reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

Oh Leslie - there is nothing left to say - I was thinking he may have been in the crowd on Sunday, but didn't want to be announced. How easy it would have been to just stand in the crowd and then go up to his son at the end and tell him he was proud of him.
Sunday was the first time I laid eyes on Kevin, and I just wanted to put my arms around him and hug him for a long time. That smile of his is so beautiful. His dad is the one missing it all, and if he wants to make excuses - then let him go at it.
I know what you are worried about is how it hurts the kids, but ya know my sons father does the same kind of crap to my son and yes he does get down about it - but every hug he gives me and every time he tells me he loves be bunches - makes it all worth it.
Keep on doing what you do - you are doing a great job - Breezy too.

Unknown said...

Yeah, it's a sad shame that Tim couldn't see past his own ego to come and support his son and be a part of the wonderful ceremony where everyone stood proud while thanking a hometown hero for sacrificing so much for his country! Thanks isn't enough and that's why some of us chose to be there and show our love and gratitude for all that Kevin has done. It was nice that his grandparents came but he wanted his dad there. Let down again, why am I not surprised? Kevin, Les, and Breezy you have the whole world supporting you and we all love you very much. We thank you all for all you've done and we're very proud to be a part of your life whether personally or throuigh this blog. You all are fighters and your strength is amazing. Tim's the one who is missing out and one day he'll regret everything he HASN'T done! Keep your strength and fight on!
Love you all,
Diana

Anonymous said...

Way to go Leslie very well said and we are with you 150%. In case there is anyone who wants to know my full name out there it is PAMELA K. MOORE EAST BRADY, PA.

Anonymous said...

Leslie, I wish to extend my sincere Thank You for the Purple Heart Ceremony to be held in East Brady, PA, and for traveling so far with Kevin so we all would have the opportunity to honor Kevin and share in this experience.
I haven't seen Kevin since the night before he was leaving and we all said our goodbyes and I remember thinking to myself "I pray he's going to be ok where ever he winds up." I was just beside myself on Sunday to wait until the line went down to go and visit with Kevin ! I didn't want to 'wait patiently' (but I did !)because I was so excited to see him, as well as Nicole and Ryan were excited too ! Evan stayed up in the skate park because of all of the people (he gets that honest)!! But to be able to hug Kevin ... there just are no words ! He looked at the three of us and said "Wow" a couple of times and then pointed at Nicole with his two fingers to show that this was her second time in line that day !! ha aha !! Nicole stated that Sunday was probably one of the best days of her life to see Kevin ! It was an amazing turnout and I'm not surprised at all !

As for Tim, once a dirt weed, always a dirt weed. What a shame that flesh and blood wouldn't take the time to show up when so many friends, family, and perfect strangers were all in tow. There's no blog that can express words for a father not being there ... just no words at all. I feel badly if Kevin and Breezy really wanted for him to be there.

Anyways, Sunday was a great day and I just want to extend a huge Thanks again. Kevin means an awful lot to all of us ... we just Love him !! : )

Julie

pommom said...

Even to a stranger like me it is obvious that Kevin got his "balls" from your side of the family Leslie, as it is patently apparent that his father has none. What a cowardly shit he is. It is only sad because Kevin was disappointed. One would think a "man" could put aside his own feelings for the sake of his child : obviously not in Tim's case. Just from reading your blog I have seen that Tim has never been there for either of your children and still isnt. It truly is his loss since both your kids are amazing. Shame on him and his "anonymous" family member (maybe being a cowardly shit runs in the family?)

Jesse said...

Leslie try to focus on the positive and forget what was not there and is not important. He will get his just due in the long run. i hope and pray he realizes what he is missing before it is too late. I grew up without a father becaused he passed away while I was young. I used to think that was unfair but it was much easier than having someone alive not being around. You and yours remain in my thoughts and prayers! Keep your chin up! nonanonomys... Jesse J. Mercure

Anonymous said...

All of the remarks are right on...Kevin and Brianna are SO lucky to have you for their mother! A mother who will be by their sides no matter what, unlike other "family member" who only think of them selves! Keep up the good work and know that there are a lot of people out here who admire you Leslie for all you've given up and done for Kevin who is an American Hero!

A 173rd ABCT Mother

Life As It Is ... said...

We have been very touched by your story of strength and love. You are an amazing mother and should be very proud. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Emily and Drew Stefaniak

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow is a new day.

Anonymous said...

Leslie,
It was so good to see and talk to you and Kevin over the weekend.It
really is a shame that Kevin was left down by his dad but thank God
Kevin has you and Breezy !!!I have watched Kevin's Purple Heart Ceremony three times on
Armstrong's local channel 10 and each time I watch it I get goosebumps just hearing Kevin say thanks to the crowd.You have raised two great kids !Hang in there and stay strong!!!!!!
Kim S

The Rock said...

I wish I could have been there ! I am so happy for Kevin and you Leslie. I agree with Janna !
You did a wonderful Job with both of your Children . So , don't let him bring you down or upset you . It is his loss ! He must be gutless .
I am so proud of Kevin and his progress . And you are just the greatest !
Bless you all
Petra
Soldiers Angel , La.