It's kinda been a rough day. I don't know why, but I am just down today. I suppose I'm just tired, not sure.
But anyway, Kevin had an ok day. We stayed in and I cooked dinner tonight and all was good for us until we were looking at some photos I picked up today. Kevin started crying again when he saw the pic of him with Breezy and I kissing him (the one I uploaded the other day). I couldn't get him to stop and he demanded to go back to the hospital and go to bed. I took that time to follow the advice on the blog here and forced him to go into the shower room and look at himself long and hard in the full length mirror. He just cried harder, but I made him keep his eyes on himself and let it all out. We were in there a good 15 minutes or so and he did eventually slow down enough to at least hear me say that it can mostly be fixed. As mentioned here, I had him point to the areas on his face that he wants changed. He just kept circling the whole thing at first, but then I showed him that it wasn't ALL bad - just the side of his head, his ear, his eyes and his chin area need cosmetic repairs.
I wish I could say that after he cried he was fine, but it really doesn't work that way. It will take a long time for him to not be shocked and appalled when he looks in a mirror. It will also take a while to get past the 'why me?' and the 'this sucks' stage too. He will need to accept the changes in himself and I just need to keep my eye on the line between working toward that acceptance and falling into a depression. It's gonna be a tough one, that's for sure. Especially because I cry with him every time he does. I just can't imagine what it's like to 'wake up' and look nothing like yourself. I know how hard it is for me to see him too right now and I've had 8 months to adjust to the changes - he is just now starting to see them so he has a ways to go.
Anyway, here are some pics from yesterday and today. The first one is Kevin holding Breezy in a headlock earlier today. It was so hysterical, lol:
This one is Kevin standing up down at my room at the house. I still don't remember him being that tall...
And the next two are of him at Red Lobster.
Looking good, huh?
And I am going to finish up with a couple of questions. First to BigD - I sure hope your son is doing well. My nephew had leukemia years ago and he is doing so well now. Keep your chin up! That goes for you too, Petra!!
Miss Em - you asked about Kevin's candy choices, lol. He seems to love all that sour stuff. Ya know - sour gummi worms, that sour tape like stuff (like fruit by the foot) and sour patch kids. He also loves gummi bears. Truth be told - if it's edible, he likes it! LOL!
Jan - you mentioned Kevin's new confidence might be keeping people from staring and I would hazard a guess that that could be part of it. He just doesn't look as sick anymore, kwim? Even his eyes are clearer, if that makes any sense.
Ok - it's off to bed for me...
First 2 from the Nov kit!
5 years ago