Sunday, October 21, 2012

Oct 21, 2012

Breezy was here last night and lectured me because it's been so long since I wrote for you guys.  I am really sorry, but I have just been dealing with the loss of my father.  I am still struggling for the most part, but I am functioning.  I am now to the point where I don't even cry every day.  I just really miss his voice and his sense of humor.  Every day I called and asked 'how are you feeling?' and he would always respond 'miserable'.  It was a private joke between us because I would lovingly start lecturing him that attitude is half the battle and if he would just say 'great' he might actually FEEL great!  We always laughed about it and I just miss hearing the word 'miserable'.

I also just feel horrible that I didn't call him the night before.  I usually did every night and got sidetracked and didn't call that night.  It makes me mad at myself because I, more than anyone, know that every day could be the last you see the one you love.  Please remember those words (I'm speaking to myself too!).  We all treat life so cavalierly and we really shouldn't.  Geez!  I won't repeat - you've all heard me say it so many times, but just remember to hug and kiss the ones you love and make sure they know you love them.  My dad did know it.  He knew I loved him and I try very hard to think of that rather than the fact that I didn't call him that night.  

So we haven't really been doing too much, but we did go to the Botanical Gardens here in SA a couple of weeks ago.  Here are some photos:

It was really hot that day so we could only stay a couple of hours.  Kevin was a real trooper, but he doesn't do well in the extreme heat.

And speaking of Kevin, he is doing very well.  I will have to take some video of him soon so that y'all can see how well he is talking.  We had company last weekend and the person hadn't seen Kevin in such a long time.  They couldn't believe how far he has come.  We are just so lucky, aren't we?

He is still having 'spells' though and I guess I should just ignore them.  Nobody else is doing anything about them so maybe I'm overreacting?  I don't know, but there's not really anything more I can do by myself so I'll just let it go for a little bit and see if they become worse.

I did get him weaned off of the anti-inflammatory meds.  I just started slowly thinking that if he was screaming in pain I would put the dose back to what it was.  He is doing well and I can only hope it stays that way.

We also had an appt with Urology because Kevin has some trouble starting to urinate.  After doing some testing the urologist told me it is just the effects of the meds he's on and that he has no problems at all in this department.  What a relief!  One department down - 6 million to go! (ok - that is a slight exaggeration, lol)

And now I am off to get some scrapping done.  It's going to be a lazy Sunday...


karen said...

Oh Leslie, I'm so sorry about your dad. I had a similar experience with my grandfather, and it is the worst feeling to not have connected right before.

My mom also died this past spring, and I feel like I am only coming up for air now. Even though it wasn't a great relationship -- she had some real mental health issues -- I loved her dearly and tried to do right by her. Hang in there.

Good to hear you conquered a department, good luck with the other bazillion.

karen said...

I checked your other post and I did read it at the time. Honestly, this year has been such a blur, forgive my short memory and know that I'm sending good thoughts from here.

Wife of a Wounded Soldier said...

I am so sorry to hear about the grief you are having with your dad's passing. I can't imagine how hard it is.

My husband also had issues urinating but once he backed off the pain meds it went from standing there for 10 mins to being able to go easily. I hope this helps.

Michelle Long said...

Sending hugs all around from PA!

(The other) Leslie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. {{{Hugs}}} to you and yours. Hang in there. The hole in your heart never heals but it hurts less with time.

Aunt Judy said...

orficin 610So very happy to hear from you and the family. The pictures are great. Really love them. It's so very hard to lose a parent especially one so close to you. Not that parents aren't close to all. But when you have that special time to make it a one on one and it's fun between the two of you it something to cherish everyday. Love to you all and miss reading your posts everyday.

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