Day 27 - June 27, 2008

Today was a better day.

We couldn't go in until 1pm to see him and when I walked in he seemed to be alert. He was doing the same thing he did the last time - throwing his arms around and it looked like he was trying to talk this time too. His mouth just kept moving and opening and closing. I had to tell him that he wouldn't be able to talk because his vocal chords needed to heal yet. That may be an issue and it may not be. I just don't know. I know they did tell me that the part of his brain that was removed did cover both speech and motor skills so only time will tell I guess. At this point though - he has a trach in and won't be able to talk with that anyway. (although I do believe they can cap it, but we are nowhere near that point yet).

Anyway this few moments of lucidity (?) lasted about 5 minutes. Breezy was just coming over to the hospital - she stayed behind to do something, which is ok as we take turns anyway - and stupid me took the car keys with me. She called to find out where they were and when I told her what he was doing she took off and literally ran over to the hospital. The poor girl came barreling into his room all red and sweaty but unfortunately she missed it. He had already fallen asleep. I hate that she missed it. It was such a bummer for her.

But he moved around quite a bit today. We are hoping this is a good sign. And she did get to see it the whole rest of the day. I just wish I knew if that was responding or if we were fooling ourselves.

On a bad note, Kev did appear to have two panic attacks today. I would watch his heart rate double and his breaths per minute more than double each time. I am not sure if he is subconsciously remembering what happened or what. Without him being able to talk or do anything yet, we may never know.

We also haven't heard anything about the spinal tap yet. Maybe we will learn something tomorrow. I hope it's coming back negative at this point. I believe it has to be negative for 72 hours for the meningitis to truly be gone, but each day is a plus if it's not showing up.

As to the answer to yesterday's final question - my answer is a much stronger and louder 'yes'. I can and will do this forever. He's one of my babies, after all...