Day 19 - June 19, 2008

I think I am becoming a nurse. I should first say that I hate the medical field. Have had absolutely no desire to be part of it - even under the best of circumstances. But, life apparently doesn't usually go the way you want it to, so it looks like I am going to become a nurse (of sorts).

You may ask why I started this post the way I did. Well...today, I stayed in Kev's room when the ophthalmologist stitched his right eye shut again. Y'all should know that I can't even watch someone put a contact lens in without getting physically ill - just the thought of touching an eyeball really makes me sick. But you know what? I did it. I admit that I had to look away when he actually put the stitches through the lid and lower part of his eye, but I still stayed. I watched that 'thread' being pulled and I took care of holding Kev's arm down and suctioning all of the mucus from his trach collar. I also handed supplies and kept telling my son what a great job he was doing. Obviously, he was not put to sleep for this - I suppose because he kinda already is. I was actually kinda proud of myself, but I will tell you that I did start crying smack dab in the middle and the doc had to stop for me to go to the other room and get control of myself. He was really nice about it, but I hate when I do that. I am not real good with showing my emotions - I am just too private - but that's another thing that's apparently going to change. I still cry a lot. A LOT! And I don't seem to care if I am in public or not anymore. It just happens - all the time.

Other than that, it was kinda quiet today. Still no movement from Kev. They did remove some of the staples from his head today though, which is good. And he is breathing really well on his own. We are really happy with that. With everything really. Because a non-eventful day is better than a bad day.