Kevin and I had a sad moment today. We were discussing how I was going to live with him and I told him I would stay until he got married. He started crying and touching all of his deformities, basically saying that he knows nobody will ever marry him or love him because of how he looks. Man, that was tough to watch him cry over. I did tell him that looks really don't matter, but he's not stupid - he knows that in today's society, they do. I also told him that things will look better once he has his plastic surgeries and that was the only thing that got him to stop crying, but hopefully he does realize that he still won't look perfect. I guess it's something I will have to make sure he is aware of, while somehow making him feel confident enough to go through with the surgeries. Aaack! Why does everything have to be so dang difficult?
On the surgical note, I have discussed plastic surgery with our FRC. We have decided to not have any type of surgery here in Tampa. I am planning to research for the best of the best and I am thinking it won't matter where they are located - Hollywood, NYC or Timbuktoo. This is something I have absolutely no knowledge of, but I guess it's time I do.
And now I am just going to answer some comments/questions:
Jodi - thanks for the link for sunsetter awnings. And say 'hi' to the family for us!
Holee et al - a screen around the pool is a given. There is a new way to keep the bugs out by just using a timed chemical release around your pool area, but I know we need to worry about pests and alligators (gosh - can you believe this PA girl has to worry about gators for goodness sake?!!) so we are going with the screen. It's all part of the pool package.
Lorraine (and Rick) - you guys just need to bring Howard the Duck to see us so he can swim in that pool, lol. Thanks for the pics too!
Kevin and Natali McKee - thanks for reminding me about the baby monitor! I actually bought one months ago when the hospital was trying to take away the sitters, but we never used it. I'm going to have to dig it out. Thanks so much!
And now I am going to sign off. I have some packing to do as I am trying to take the stuff we just don't use to my parent's place so that it's less to move when we have to leave the Fisher House. I sure hope Breezy gets working on it. She has to check out on Thursday night and I don't think she's packed a thing yet. Kids will be kids, right?
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
8 comments:
Dear Leslie
I have been reading your latest Post's and I am happy that you had some good days.
But when I was reading about the" sad moment " I cried. I know Kevin is aware of his wounds , but he is still the same person inside !It is hard for a young person to deal with the fact that he is disfigured . But I do believe that Kevin will overcome all that, once he starts healing. There are so many new things they can do with Kevin. They transplant faces now ! What a trip , I never thought it could be done, but they are doing it.
I can imagine that it hurt your heart deeply ! But Leslie, you are a great Mom ( I am adoptable LOL) and you been so strong ! You gave up your home and your Friends , to take care of your Boy ! You have been his strength ! And I know that together you will overcome all the hurdles !It will take time!
I am so glad that you got the House and I am sure that will help you a lot. Just being away from your home and State , away from Friends that embrace you ; is tough.
Now You will be able to go
" HOME" , after a stressful day . And you have some privacy !
Hang in there and give Kevin a big hug from me ! Tell him he is my Hero !
Hugs for the 3 of you
Petra
Soldiers Angel
" Living Legends " Team
I know about the timed chemical release but with Kevin's skin in the present condition I would be very careful about any chemical in the area he is using. Also his lungs must have been exposed in the attack so I would be worried about what he was breathing in. Just so many things to consider after something like this happens.
I was glad to hear he was taking off on his own. That's a big part of returning to being an independant adult. He needs to know he is okay if you or a nurse is not in sight.
Once his neck skin is fixed to allow his mouth to relax and his eyelids are fixed he'll look pretty normal..you can tell him that's not much more then all the female movie stars get done everyday! The burns will improve over time. Lots of people have badly scared skin from teenage pimples.Don't let him make a big deal out of it and he'll start to feel better about it. Maybe some tough love would help..all of us are still here and enjoy seeing every picture of him. We miss seeing his smile when you don't post a photo. We don't cry at what he looks like, we are delighted to see how far he has come in less then a year.
Somewhere I bet there is a female soldier in a hospital, burned, disfigured and having the same sad thoughts.
Dear Leslie:
I felt the pain in your heart with your sad moment as I felt the same way when my son was so badly injured and I know he felt the same way, but I kept thinking - there is someone out there who will love and accept him for who is he. When he went to the hospital for probably his 30th surgery - the student nurse that was assigned to his room would come to talk to him and lo and behold they have now been together for a year. At Walter Reed one of my son's physical therapists was going with one of her other patients, so you see, these wondeful, caring women are out there.
So glad to hear about your house - I know that is a huge relief for you.
Many thoughts and prayers for all of you.
I know that we all tend to look at the outward beauty of a person first and then look inward;but haven't we all learned the lesson that true beauty is inside a person?After all,how many people have we met in our lives that posess the true beauty that Kevin posessess?When that special person meets him and sees his smile,his love of life,his determination,and his sense of humor; she will realize that she has met her prince charming !!!Let Kevin know that when the time is right he can search out a doctor and see what options are available to him,but honestly he is handsome to us.
Keeping you all in our prayers.
Kim
Leslie, your sad momenht brought a tear to my eye but also a chuckle. You and I had numerous conversations about men and their character or lack of. Seems alot of them are disfigured but on the inside where by the time you realize it it's too late. Kevin needs to realize that when (and it will happen) he meets the woman of his dreams, she's going to be truly special because she will love him for what's on the inside, scars and all. She will see the beauty inside him as we all do. Take care, Sharon and Haleigh
Leslie, you don't know me but I have read your blog from the beginning because of Vicki Chrisman. I have commented a couple of times. We live in Edmond, OK, a bedroom community of Oklahoma City. You might want to research Paul Silverstein, MD in OKC. He is a fabulous plastic/reconstructive surgeon. In fact, the burn unit at Integris Hospital in OKC is dedicated to him. One of his cases was on two teenage girls who were burned and disfigured terribly by an explosion of a pool floating mastress inside a car. He is really very well known. The ironic thing is his wife is our opthomologist. Anyway, check him out when it's time.
God will take care of all Kevin's needs , including a wife, if He is allowed to. Although it may not always feel like it, He has been with you on this journey since the beginning. Trust Him.
God bless all of you :)
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