Today was an extremely uneventful day. I did verify that Kevin is still in the stage 9 coma, but other than that - nothing happened.
Breezy and I did leave the hospital at 8:20 tonight instead of 10:00 as we always do and I am struggling with the guilt a little bit. But he had a nurse that gave him some morphine to ease his pain and frustration so he slept the whole time we were in the room. We knew he would sleep for the whole 2 hours due to the drugs so we chose to come back to the hotel early and rest for a bit. Maybe even watch a little tv. It's hard though, because you do feel guilty for leaving while visiting hours are available, but we realistically know he won't even miss us tonight.
As to dealing with his arm being tied to the bed, I still haven't figured out how to get past it, so today I just didn't look at it or truthfully even go to that side of his bed. It's the cowards way, I know...but it's how I am dealing with it until I come up with something.
So that's it for tonight. Like I said, nothing happened today at all. Breeze and I just took turns being in there and talking to him and we just can't tell if he is awake or not because his eyes are stitched shut and his arm is tied to the bed. Those were our only indicators and they are gone. Not sure what to do or think anymore.
And to finish off - one of the things I keep telling myself is 'an uneventful day is better than a bad day'. Let's just keep saying it, I guess.
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
32 comments:
You are soo right! Time.. rest.. and a little more time, right!
You are no coward...far from it!!!!
You are the strongest woman I have ever encountered!!!!
Stay strong....
Tina Dwyer, El Paso,TX
Uneventful is good. Rest means healing for all of you. Kevin knows you are there. He also knows that you have to take care of yourself to be strong for him.
Keep talking to him. Keep encouraging him to fight for his way back. Deal with his arm being tied any way you can. Remember it is for his protection and for his journey back.
I was called into to work and just drove back to FC from Pittsburgh. It's amazing how I see the 'Burgh in a totally different light when traveling through it after midnight. I had to check on you all before going to bed.
Tomorrow is Kevin's big day. Be strong! My card will be late but it will get there . .. .. . God bless all of you.
Hi Leslie,
Hang in there, stay strong! Kevin's body needs the rest and restraint to let his body heal. I know it's difficult to see, but it is for the best. The more he rests, the more his body can take time to revive and heal. He will keep fighting, and so will you. He knows you are there and he loves you. Stay strong Leslie, we are all thinking about you and Kevin and Breezy.
Andrew's Aunt Jodi
Leslie,
There is no way you are a coward..A coward would turn her back on Kev, walk out of that room and never look back..
It's your love and strength that's keeping him going..You may not know if he here's you but I know he does..Your love will bring him through this..Your's and Breezy's..Don't ever doubt that for one minute.
It's hard..I won't say I understand what your going through because I can't..Although I went through some of the same things with my mother and it's not easy but I know she heard me when I talked & read to her so I know Kevin does to..
Before long he'll find his way back home to you both..He's just taking time and healing as he goes..Baby steps , each one bringing him closer and he's following your voice..
But I bet you one thing..even though I've never met you , Breezy or Kevin..Even though you want to be there with him, he'd want you to rest and take care of yourself and not feel guilty about not being there..He'd feel worse if you or Breezy got sick..
Rest and relax..cause once Kevin gets up and going..hon..you aren't going to have time..LOL
Love Bree
Im new to your blog, but im very glad i have access to it now. Im Galchik's wife. I hope you enjoyed the poster i made. Hang in there. We keep you in our prayers. Everyone here misses Kevin.
I have been thinking of Kevin all weekend. I think of his dedication to our country (as well as so many others) so that we could celebrate our freedom.
Your blog has renewed so many; I believe it has awakened a sense of responsibility in many of us. Many people have taken action, thought more, prayed more, the list goes on. Thank you for that.
Happy Birthday to Kevin.
Megan Slaugenhoup
Hey Mama Leslie!
Hang in there by no means are you a coward! Tell Breez I love her and wish my future husband a Happy Birthday for me!! I love you guys!
Love,
Jess
Hi Leslie,
What did you say? "It's the cowards way, I know...but it's how I am dealing with it until I come up with something". What kind of talk is that, no way lady. I may not know you personally, but I do know that you are no coward. So you didn't want to see his arm that's OK. You will see his arm again and lots more and like you haven't seen things that would have turned many others away before this. Les, you will be fine please don't beat yourself up.
Breezy and you deserve a break and there is nothing to feel guilty about. Kevin is in good hands and needs all the healing rest he can get. You and Breezy have to remain strong and taking a break away from Kevin's side to rest and relax is OK!
Today is Sunday Kevin's birthday celebrate his life and the love that you all share.
Leslie have a good day and look for the silver.
God bless,
Jeff
Les, you're not a coward, so don't be thinking like that. You all are going through alot. Just hang in there and remind yourself that his arm being tied and his eyes being stitched shut is helping him recover and it's only temporary. Keep your strength and faith. Love you all. Happy Birthday Kevin!
Diana
Happy Birthday Kevin. I am heading out to church, Creekside UMC, and we will pray for you and wish you a happy b-day today. May God's arms continue to be wrapped around you and your family. Les and Breezy, hang in there...there are many prayers coming your direction to carry you through this. God Bless you all, and thank you Kev and all soldiers for fighting for our freedom.
Happy Birthday, Kevin!
As the others have already said, Leslie, you are not a coward. But guilt loves to creep in, make havoc, and exhaust your mental, physical and spiritual resources. It takes enormous STRENGTH to fight through that negative and allow your intellect to rule. As Kevin rested, you and Breezy rested, and therefore ALL of you were restored a bit.
Prayers, hugs and love to you all.
On my way to church and many will be waiting, as has been the case since you started your blog, to here the latest update of Kevin read by the pastor. Please know that each and every need is specifically prayed for.
We care so much for you Leslie, Breezy and Kevin and ask for God's Perfect will.
God Bless you!
I would say it's a coping mechanism, not cowardice. There is only so much you can deal with at a time, and it seems like you're dealing with this whole situation as well as you can. I pray that God would give you all His strength and peace.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!
KEEP FIGHTING KIDDO!
Andrew's Aunt Jodi
You guys don't know me, but I live in Sligo...I want you to know you all are in my prayers. I read in clarion news about Kevin, and checked into your daily blog on how he is progressing. I pray that each day brings something better for Kevin, but also for you and Breezy. I want you to know there are alot of people out there wishing him well!
Your home town is all there for you! Keep your selves well and rested so you can be there for Kevin! I know he appreciates you both being there day in and day out, and knows he isn't alone!
I can't believe you refered to yourself as a coward........WHATEVER! Leslie I have never met you but I know that is the farthest thing from the truth. You and your bravery and strength have brought Kevin this far. The things that are being done are so the healing can continue and it is Very hard to stand back and watch even though you know it's for the best. Please try not to be so hard on yourself and take this time to care for you and Breezy too.
Better days are ahead.
Hang in there!
Theresa
Leslie, as someone who has worked in critical care a long time, you are doing everything you can to help him. I'm sure you have been told this by the staff...take care of yourself. Always keep hope and faith in the forefront while being realistic to the realities of the situation and the treatments required. Know that your voice comforts him even if he can't express it right now. Don't feel guilty about doing whatever you need to do to cope. Kevin will need you healthy and strong later when he will be relying more on you and less on the nursing staff. You are doing a fabulous job, Mom!!
Happy Birthday Kevin!! Leslie, I hope you and Breezie were able to rest and relax a little. You are so strong but even the strongest need to rest. You are so not a coward. You have to cope any way you can and if not looking works don't judge yourself for that. Take care and keep fighting. As always we continue to pray for all three of you. God bless you today.
~~ CELEBRATE ~~ ON KEVINS 20TH BIRTHDAY ... SHOUT TO THE HEAVENS ... "OH, GLORIOUS DAY ... NEVER WILL THERE BE A BETTER BIRTHDAY ... FEEL THE LOVE ... TODAY IS HIS !!!!
AND YOU AND SISTER HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO GET HIM THERE ...
GENTLE THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU ... CELEBRATE !!!!
Hello Leslie,
I am not sure if you read these, but I don't think you are a coward at all. I do want to say that in life we often do what we don't like to get to where we need to be, a necessary evil. Kevin needs his arm restrained right now, so that he doesn't hurt his head. It is ugly, but there are few other choices.
I wish you all the best and I will keep reading...
Love,
Liz
Les, To the corner with you lady talking like that. If I had you here I might kick your butt if I could get my Old Leg up that far. Les, you and Breezy both need breaks it gives your hearts and minds a little rest so that they can heal and start another day. Please don't be so hard on yourself.Kevin needs rest honey and so do you. Take a deep breath and smile thinking about me scolding you like you did with me and this darn computer. Take care and Happy Birthday Kevin you know what America is made of and now you have made this town and many more understand to. God Love you Keving cause we sure do. Pam Moore
Happy Birthday, Kevin!
I haven't been able to come here for a couple of days so I was a bit anxious about what I might read. But things sound stable and stable is good!
I'm sure the eye and arm developments have been hard to take... although your mind knows he needs this to rest and recover. Take this time to rest up yourself. As others have said, he will need you more as time goes on.
Just a thought... I wonder if they would consider doing some extra PT? I assume they untie his arm while doing the PT, which would give him a tiny extra bit of freedom...
Keep talking to him. I just know he's in there, too!
Happy Birthday Kevin!!! Sleep, dream and get strong moment by moment.
Be gentle with yourself Leslie....you may think you are not doing the best you can but it's just that...you are! You can't choose how you want the day to be neither does Kevin or Breezy. The three of you take what is given and handle it the best you know how. You are tired! Just plain old tired and feel bad for admitting this human weekness.
This advice is easy for me to give because I am not in your shoes bearing this tragedy you face each day and night. But let me share this with you...It hurts me that my life is so normal and you three are hurting with so much to deal with. I feel helpless and ashamed not to be able to do more to comfort you and lift this burden from you, Breezy and Kevin....
With me it is impossible (to help you) but I know nothing is impossible for God to help you in whatever you need.
I love to think of God sitting in a big rocking chair and I struggle to climb up into the chair and snuggle in his lap and cry and tell him all that is wrong and how I need help and what can I do to go on. I tell him of the ones I love and how they are hurting.....and during this discussion of faith in Him I begin to feel stronger and a sense of it's going to be okay because He heard my plea. He will hear you, in fact he already knows what will be tomorrow. It is all in His hands. I trust Him with you Leslie, you Breezy and you Kevin!
hey just dropping in to wish kevin a happy birthday let him know that we are here for him and that we all love him very much i will try to call later love you all
Dawn Sink and family
We celebrate your life Kevin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Leslie and Breezy, may God bless you with the strength to endure this journey, and the peace to know that He is with you, and you aren't in this alone.
Our prayers, our love,
the Stimacs
Leslie and breezy i just want to tell u that i think of you guys all the time and that i think you 2 are so strong ! i know i can't say anyhting to help you feel better just know you are in our prayers and i know god will see kevin through!
heather
Leslie,
I read your blog from the beginng to the end today. At times cried for you and for Breezy and for Kevin. How easily any of our lives can change in an instant. Yes, we all need to tell everyone close to us that we love them.
I cannot imagine what all of you are going thru. But one thing I can say to you, reading this from the beginning is that you are a wonderful mom and a strong women. Going thru this is scary, frightening and the anger feelings are all normal. Let it all out. Know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Keep talking to Kevin, keep strong and keep telling him you love him. He will come back to you.
I'll be reading daily now to see the progress Kevin is making. Keep the faith...
Pam from work
You are all three very strong. You have more strength than most. Kevin knows you are there and God knows what your needs are. God is taking care. Rest in His loving arms. Happy Birthday Kevin. Keep strong. We are still praying.
M
Just wanted to stop by and let you all know that every day you are all in my thoughts and my prayers - and that you always will be!
I also wanted to send Kevin a big huge Happy Birthday! I know it's not exactly how you would like to be spending your birthday, but you're HERE for your birthday. By your next birthday you will be singing the song loud and proud. Yes you will Kevin!!
As a mom I can only imagine what today is like for you Leslie, I wanted to send you as many hugs as I would like to send to Kevin on this day - Kevin will be reborn, his wings will continue to mend, the miracle that is Kevin will continue to unfold.
God bless you all, and may He give you all of the strength, peace and comfort that you need to get through each day. Hang in there guys, stay strong! Thoughts, prayers, support and load upon load of angel hugs are always on their way to you.
- Kris, a Soldiers' Angel from RI
Hi Leslie and Breezy,
I must agree with Tina. You are far from being a coward. Everyday I read your Blog and ask myself how you do it day in and day out. You said it for yourself "Kev is sleep from the Meds" get your rest so you can continue to be there for your soldier.
Always in my prayers,
Larry
I have been reading your blog since about June 10 or so, but this is my first comment. I am from the Butler area. A friend of a friend directed me here. I read your blog almost daily, and I am so touched by your honesty, openness, and ability to keep us updated. I have you on my blog as a favorite of mine, so hopefully others will read and pray for you as well. I pray for you, Kevin, and Breezy lots, too. Kevin is a stark reminder that freedom isn't free. When Kevin wakes up, please help him to understand how MUCH we appreciate his service to our country...his protection of our freedom.
With much love,
Jodi
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