Day 492 - Oct 3, 2009

We had a decent day today. We are keeping Kevin medicated before the pain is breaking through instead of waiting for it and then making him suffer for 30 minutes until the pills start working.

So far, so good.

We did run to Wal-Mart today because Kevin told me he wanted to color (took a while for me to figure that one out). So we went and bought coloring books and crayons and the kids and I have been coloring for a couple of hours now. I was amazed because Kevin's book had those word searches and mazes and he zings though the mazes super fast and he is at least trying to do the word searches. He can do the straight across words, but he just can't find the diagonals or backwards. But still - he is trying and that's a great thing.

And before I forget - yes, Kevin is allowed to go anywhere he wants. We also had permission to go on the boat ride and do whatever we wanted last week. For the record, I don't take Kevin unless it's ok'd by the docs (in this type of situation anyway). Sometimes I'm not told that I can't do something and I do it not realizing, but mostly I ask. I think at this point y'all are just going to have to trust that since I am here (and he's my son) - I pretty much know what's best for Kevin. And I know that I may make mistakes, but that's inevitable. My plea would be that I just don't get called on the carpet for making those mistakes as I just can't be perfect - no matter how hard I try .

Which, by the way, brings me to another point. I, more than anybody, know that Kevin will react to how I feel in certain situations. Because I know this - he rarely sees what I am feeling - especially in times of extreme frustration. What y'all see is the place where I can come and vent about what I feel/felt. That's what this blog is really all about. So I come on here, let it all out, and that ends it. But somehow, some people assume that because I lay it all out here, I lay it all out for Kevin to see. That's just not how I work. And I have to admit to always being curious how people "know" I did something without being there?

Just my two cents. But I guess I am just asking that people maybe not jump to conclusions based on the small window that I give people the opportunity to look into our lives through. There is so much more that goes on in our lives that I am just not putting out there.

Oh - and I want to quickly admit that any and all advice is always heard. I do read every comment and I always appreciate the advice we do receive, I just think it would be nice if the advice could be given without accusation as it is sometimes. Know what I mean?

And on that note, I am going to end this post. Please don't anybody take this as me being angry or slamming anyone. I am not. It's just li'l ol' me asking for some slack in a really rotten situation.