I think the really sad part about all of this spiraling out of control is that all I asked was that everybody write to their senators and congressmen. I rarely mention the bad things that go on throughout most of the day, but I did decide to share what really goes on in a wounded soldier's caretaker's financial life just so that you could all see how important it is to support this bill. That was it. That's all I asked.
How it all turned into an attack of sorts on my purchasing a Wii and a laptop to help Kevin regain some of the mental shortcomings is beyond me.
How it ended up being that we have eaten out too much over the last 14 months I don't know either. Personally I would die a heavenly death if I could have a home cooked meal forever more. Does anyone have any idea how hard it is to eat out 3 meals a day for almost a year because you don't either have access to a kitchen in your living quarters or because you don't leave your son's hospital bed to cook?
As for the pool - no regrets. I do admit that if I had known that Kevin wasn't going to be discharged for a year - I would have waited. But I had been told over and over again that he would be. That the process had already been started. As to why I purchased the pool - two reasons. Number one - therapy. No more explanation needed on that point. Number two - Kevin is almost always in his room. I want him to come out and do things he used to enjoy doing. Swimming was one of those things (and let's face it - he's never going to drive again, never skateboard, never play XBox, never ride his BMX bike and never jump out of an airplane either). Now we could have went to a public pool but I have this aversion to making my son become the entertainment for the day. When we took him into the pool all those months ago it took him close to 20 minutes to get into the pool (and get out) and it's not like he's going to just start swimming right off the bat either. And we won't even mention how bad his body is burned. So should I seriously just put him through that? NO.
The point really has been that all of these things may not be necessities to a normal person, but we don't live a normal lifestyle. Kevin requires the pricier patio table and lounge chair because he (and the piece of furniture) both fall over when he tries to get up if it is too lightweight.
I also think that some of you believe that we eat at expensive restaurants all the time and that is so not true. It's a rare treat and I usually mention it on here because it is a treat. I also should point out that I don't usually eat when we hit a drive-thru (Kevin is ALWAYS hungry) - he purchases his meal and I wait until we get home and have a fried egg or peanut butter toast or something simple like that for dinner.
So what I would like to do is end this drama right now. I honestly don't have the time to dwell on it as my day is full enough already. I don't discount anything anybody has said - we all have our own opinions, but all the negativity must stop. I just don't live my life that way. I just can't live my life that way.
I will say that I am very sorry if I offended anyone with my spending, but I don't really regret anything. I have done everything for Kevin to help him have a better quality of life. If it wasn't done on your timetable - I'm sorry, but I do feel that each thing that I purchased has helped him get better than they ever said he would.
So once again - let's move on completely from money issues and focus on the real thing - KEVIN!
Kev said a new word today - RED. Strange, I know, but he has flashcards from the new therapist and he did very well with his colors. He has to learn them all over again, but we are getting there.
I can't stress enough how pleased I am with this new therapy group. They so rock! Kevin is just responding to everyone and doing so much more than he ever would. He even walks in and shouts and waves hello to the receptionist and just 'talks' up a storm with everyone. He loves it there.
Today we didn't do too much. We did go to visit my sister Kim, who just moved here yesterday. YAY! And other than that, Kev just 'hung out' with Tracy's son Jessi and his friend Mikey. They are getting along really well. I made a very small dent in the pile of mail and we got things organized because...and get this...our things from PA are finally going to arrive on Monday. YAY!!!! I can't even remember what we have. But I can't wait to see my sewing machine and my Kitchen Aid mixer. Oh and my food chopper. And my clothes. And Kevin's things from Afghanistan (although all of his movies and games were stolen). It's been 14 months today since Kevin was wounded and pretty much that long since any of us have seen our things. I just can't wait to have our home back - even if it is in Florida.
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
33 comments:
Hi Leslie,
I've been reading this blog since the beginning. All I can say as someone who doesn't know anybody involved is, there is no need for you to defend your actions. Anyone who can even IMAGINE what your life is like would not disagree with your choices. There is not a selfish bone in your body. You are doing what every parent does. You are thinking of your child and putting his needs before your own.
Thank you for bringing Kevin into this world and thank you for reminding us what it means to be a parent.
Someone in Southern California
Whomever is criticizing your choices doesn't care about you OR Kevin.
You are doing an incredible job and deserve to have no money worries whatsoever. Kevin deserves a pool and the food he wants. And you shouldn't have to defend how or what you eat or what you serve or don't serve Kevin.
I've been reading since Christmas. You rock. Please spend your "spare" time resting or having fun. Not another minute on these hateful criticisms.
Thank you, Tracy!
Again.. you show that you are the bigger person through all of this!
Bravo Leslie! This is why your such a great person, and this is why your my very best friend! Even if I had never met you, I'd still feel that you were a wonderful person. And this is why you've captured the hearts of so many people that you've never even met. Even people that never met you know that you only have Kevin's best interests at heart.
Love You!
Go Kevin!
Go Leslie!
It's pretty amazing that RED can excite us but wow! soon maybe even more words. I love to hear the little steps and know how rewarding they are for you, his dear mom who has pushed him every step of the way.
And Moe, you rock too! Leslie is fortunate to have you for a best friend.
Give Kevin a hug, know you are the best, and keep up the good work. No regrets!
Praying things will get better for you and Kevin (and all our wounded soldiers),
Hallie
I have read your blog for a few months, I admire his courageous behavior as mothers and as women, the burden of actually hurt a child should certainly be very difficult to carry, especially because you are alone, no partner, and that I think you are an example of a mother, sweet, selfless, dedicated.
Its costs must surely be carefully planned, because everything is designed to Kevin recovery.
Maybe you needed that relieve anxiety, anxiety and frustration brought about by the hard evidence for this happening.
Let me give you some advice, but I can not, the truth can only admire his record as a mother.
But if we look at something most of all women in the world that we are mothers, which is give his life for our children.
Keep you ahead at some point will see the light illuminate your path and Kevin and if you are Catholic you can be sure that God our Lord, we never left.
It angers me more than I can say that there are those who would presume to tell you ANYTHING about how to live this new life with Kevin. Anyone who has read this blog should know that everything you have done for over a year has been with one focus : what is best for Kevin. How can anyone attack you while KNOWING what has been lost and at what cost. Watching one's child suffer has to be one of the worst things in the world. Nothing can erase that pain from a mother's heart. Nothing. And if there is some small thing ( a wii and a pool fit the "small" catagory when considering the price Kevin has paid ) you can do to make his life more bearable, DO IT. No questions, no explanations and NO REGRETS. Just do it Leslie, without guilt. He deserves the very best and that is what I have seen you fight for from the beginning, in every aspect of his life. May God continue to bless you with the strength you need for the daily struggle. You, Kevin and Breezy are in my prayers, always.
Leslie,
I was wandering whether you have thought about applying for food stamps and money from Welfare to at least help you but shampoo, soap, etc. I know that there are people who look down on this but I just thought that it would help you out until something better turns up. After all, Kevin was wounded fighting for our country and both you and Breezy are his caregivers and have no income for now. This doesn't have to be a permanent thing. The government owes you guys for all that you have to endur from day to day.I am suggesting this as a loving gesture and am not to be in any way offensive. Keep up the good work, keep your chin up and know that there are alot of people who really care about you, Kevin and Breezy.
great news!
I seldom post, and for the past few days, I have been dismayed at some of ewhat I see... to all those who disagree with Leslies choices.. BITE MY VET BUTT!
You folks can keep your worthless opinions to yourself... she does what is BEST for KEVIN... she does not need to apologize, or explain any of it. The things she has purchased for Kevin are less than he DESERVES. He isn't an alzheimers patient, he isn't going through this because he has grown old (which allows time to prepare, a luxury that Kevin, Breezy, nor Leslie, have had)
He is going through this because he was willing to make the Ultimate Sacrifice in Serving our Country, in Serving US... I agree, she should not have done any of this.. it ALL SHOULD BE PROVIDED, it's the very least we can do... as a Country, as a Nation...
I am sick of how people fail to Respect our Vets, and their Families... I am 100% positive that all involved would much prefer to never have to experience this, BUT they are, and they are doing so as a FAMILY... a Family that DESERVES our total RESPECT, and our TOTAL SUPPORT.
Damn, this ticks me off, as a Vet, I Salute you Kevin, and also YOU, and Breezy, Leslie... tell these macaroons to bite it. Do NOT apologize... this is YOUR BLOG, and you are the most powerful Creation that exists... a MOTHER. You have nothing to prove to anyone!
My hats off to you, and all of your kin... you, and Kevin, and Breezy, come from some super stock!
To you critiquers... again... bite my Marine butt.
Kevin, I'd have gladly Served beside you, Proudly... anytime, anywhere.
T
PS: Congrats on the new words! RED... it signifies hardiness & valour... courage and readiness to sacrifice.. none of which is lacking in CPL Kammerdiener!
Hey Leslie, You know how much I love you and your family!!!!.I sure am PISSED at the selfish people in America. Tell them to kiss off. No more explainations honey you don't need to tell anyone and especially the ones that are condemming so much. They probably sit on their fat rump and have never thought about defending their country. I am so upset honey all I really want to do is swear and I know I can't do that nor should I. You just keep on keepin on like you have been honey. You know the ones that love you and the rest aren't worth your time. My name is Pam Moore PO Box 131 East Brady,Pa. 16028 and my e-mail is pmoore001@windstream.net and if any of you jerks want to keep this up please don't bother Leslie with it. Just e-mail me so I can go through the JUNK mail and delete it before reading it or better yet instead of condemming read your Bible awhile it might help your narrow minds. Love ya Les, Pam
Leslie I cannot add anything more to what Moe and Hallie and the others have said, in support of you. But wanted to post, yet another positive note to add to these. I don't know how you do it. After reading yesterday's posts...all I could do all night, was pray that somehow you would be shielded from the devastating pain of negativity. As Moe said, once again, you prove to be the bigger person. And as you requested....let's move on.
To "RED"! Yes!! Bravo!!
Because of my personal experience with TBI, I have read several books on the subject. (This of course is ONE component of Kevin's injuries). If ANYONE out there would like to TRULY begin to comprehend the challenge of this traumatic injury there are several books I would suggest reading, in one's spare time.
The book I actually studied end to end was a massive Medical Journal which broke down the stages of TBI and its clinical behavioral descriptions. One could easily find it at their local library. Along with that, these two books from Amazon (also available in Kindle)seem to also cover some details, which might educate those who would be interested in understanding the magnitude of this injury.
21st Century Veterans Health: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), Veterans Administration Independent Study Course
Head Cases: Stories of Brain Injury and Its Aftermath by Michael Paul Mason
(I need to note I did not read these two, but their breakdown seemed to cover essential knowledge)
If bloggers do not have the time, nor compunction to study up on this injury, then at least familiarizing oneself with the bare essential knowledge, from a reputable website, would go a long way.
If one re reads the blog from the beginning, one will see that you, Leslie, have done an incredible job giving insightful information of the effects of TBI.
Again, bravo to Kevin for the new word in his vocabulary!! And BRAVO to you, Leslie, whose strength, love, and guidance for her children, outshines the norm.
Take care....(and that goes for your close friends who are beside you every step of the way!!)
Love, hugs and prayers. Always.
Leslie,
I read your blog daily and admire you and your family. I think you know deep down who is sending you these mesages and as always you have got to keep your head up high and do what is best for your children.
Ignore all negative people...always remember...there are some that can find fault in an Angel, butterfly, rainbow etc. the list is endless...so YOU do what is right for Kevin and Breezy and ignore all the bad talk...
I can't imagine what you are going through, but all I know is YOU are Kevins Angel..he is your gift and you are his..God Bless You!
MB
Hey there Leslie, this is Sue down here in KY. I'm Evan's auntie. First loved the pictures of you all back up in PA. I can say from experience that to have a ceremony like that up where we live is really quite an honor. I'm so glad the presentation went well.
I don't know if you know it, but I'm retired Army myself. So I don't say much about the Army procedures that you all have to put up with on a daily basis. I know the deal. Discharges take quite a bit of time. Not sure the exact reason, but for the most part it's just how the Army and all big agencies operate. In a way it's good because if Keven had been medically retired a year ago, he would never have been promoted to CPL. That in itself is a big deal itself in the Army.
So to the folks that are detracting by the negativity, let them walk a mile or even half that in your shoes. Nuff said on that. And to you out there reading this comment, if you are negatively commenting on how you think things should be in the Kammerdiener household, zip it! You're only showing your ignorance to the situation.
Just know that there are folks out here that keep you all and all our military folks in our thoughts and prayers EVERY day. I'm only one of them. Take care and read you tomorrow.
Ma'am, I've been reading this blog at random find for ever a year while we were going through a cancer crisis here. Let me say this, there is no need to defend yourself or your son, You need to do what you find best for your lives,. People will never understand unless they walk a mile in your shoes, granted, those bitching would never hold up under what both of you have endured. More power , prayers and smiles to you and your son, Godspeed in healing, and thank your son for serving this country of ours.
I've been reading for many months. So many times I've thought of the extreme shift in Leslie's life due to Kevin's devastating injuries. I've thought of how one day a person gets up and goes about 'normal' life, going to work,shopping,sleeping in your own home, utilizing time as you choose. And with one phone call, that life is gone. What options do the families of these wounded have? I'll support the resolution for caregivers.
Leslie, you've been a taxpayer for many years, have you thought about applying for public aid? The system was originally set up to help people through temporary tough times and if anyone should be eligible and deserves the aid, it's you. You've paid into the sytem, maybe now the system can go to work for you.
'Red' is a very important color here in Wisconsin, such as in
"Go BIG RED", our Big 10 Wisconsin Badgers. High five, Kevin!
Thoughts, prayers, and ((Hugs)).
Dear Leslie,
I am sorry that you have been attacked by people and that you had to waste the little time you have to yourself to defend against people that could not walk a mile in your shoes!!!
You are my hero...never forget that you have friends you never even met all around the world. We are on your side...always!!!
I feel sorry for the people that attacked you...for they have no clue!
Hugs from El Paso , Texas,
Tina Dwyer
My dear friend Leslie, As others have stated I'm saddened, shocked, and angered at what some have been saying about you and your lifestyle. How anyone can even think for one moment that anything you are doing is wasteful or self indulgent just infuriates me. I think of you and Kevin every day and marvel at all you two have endured and still are able to put a smile on your face. As others have said, you needn't defend or explain yourself to anyone. I believe that you are making all of the right decisions and that is why Kevin is doing as well as he is. The doctors never expected Kevin to do even a fraction of what he is and I know that it has been your devotion and the choices that you have made that have brought him this far. I would never question your decisions when it comes to Kevin and neither should anyone else because you know what is best for his health and just as importantly his happiness. If cheesecake and laptops and a pool brings a smile to his face then there is no price too high to get those things. For those of you who believe that Leslie is wasting money and has things nicer than you do, take a long look at your whole and healthy children, and then I defy you to criticise anything she does. I love you, Leslie
Oh Leslie, it hurts me to read how upset you are over these people who have questioned your integrity and judgement! Try to ignore them. Take a big breath, push, push, push out that negative energy from them. There but for the Grace of God go them!
Many hugs and support,
Cathy M
p.s. I am really interested in the TBI trial that Kevin will participate in. Any info. on that will be fascinating to me/us.
Hi Leslie
Ruthie Burke, Maine here.
I have been reading since day one. I am ALWAYS so moved by the progress Kevin makes. What a joy to hear he is still learning new words. The progress hasn't stalled. He is still learning. Yay!
I loved reading of him visiting the hospital and the docs, nurses and other patients being so encouraged by his progress. I loved hearing the Doctor call him a miracle. Yay!
I loved hearing that Kevin was able to do so well on the flights. I'm so blessed you were able to go back and have some time with your "home" and precious friends.
Thanks so much for taking the time to post pictures and your needs. It is NEVER easy to talk of personal needs. I appreciate your humility and effort to do that.
I'm praying you are able to get back up quickly when you are discouraged and beaten down by those that seem to actually enjoy lobbing anonomous grenades at you. I'm praying for continued progress in Kevin's life. I'm praying for God's provision for you and your family.
Thanks so much for taking the time to blog. I have no such demands on my life as you and I can't imagine even having the time to do it. I appreciate you sharing your lives with us. Hang in there. Lift your head. Take care of yourself.
Blessings,
Ruthie
You don't need to justify your spending to anyone, Leslie. You know what Kevin needs better than anyone on the planet. You've never been the kind of person to waste money. It's absolutely ridiculous that strangers would come along and point fingers at you when they have no idea what goes into your day or what it's like to take care of Kevin. People need to mind their own business - especially when it comes to telling someone else how to care for their son! I'm behind you all the way, Les, and I'd never doubt you for a second - and whoever these people are shouldn't doubt you either.
Moe do you bounce checks like Leslie did when she was in PA? I understand she's stressed taking care of Kevin but her family is near her now she can have alot of help and she needs to quit crying about having no money and learn to manage what donations she gets more wisely
I do not know Leslie, Kevin or Breezy up close and in person ( even though by now they feel like family and I will defend them that way ) but I cant help but wonder if the same " anonymous" who is so hateful is related to Kevin's totally absent, completely worthless father? The style of writing sure seems familiar....if so that would explain the petty, nasty comments.
As I write this, I pray that the negative "anonymous" writer either finds religion or something better to do...
This blog is here as a gift to us...so we can see Kevin's progress through the eyes of a soldier's mother. It is here to remind each of us everyday that need to be thankful for what we have.
It reminds me to pray for Kevin and others like him daily...it also reminds me that people can be hateful no matter what the situation...and I pray for those people, too...hoping they can find peace and become motivated to do positive things.
If this writer wants to pick on somebody, I would love for that person to take their jabs at me instead of Leslie and Kevin.
Enough is enough already...let it go and get a life...if you cannot move on and do more constructive things with your life then please, by all means attack me. I welcome the challenge. Maybe, that way, Leslie and Kevin can have a rest from all of this.
Kristen Mowery
Hi, mother of a 24 year old son, have been following you for at least a year.
I think it's sad that you felt the need to explain your actions to those haters. They're lucky it wasn't me.
Sure, what single woman wouldn't want to give up any chance of a normal life, to take care of her boy who she endured watching lose his?
I think you have borne this with amazing courage and dignity that few of us could sustain.
Hi Leslie
a new word???
OH!!!
A NEW WORD!!!
HIP-HIP-HURRRRAH!!!!
HOT-DIG-GA-DEE-DAMN!!!!!
got to move furnitur so I CAN DANCE.
ughhh. that's heavy.
o-KAY!!!...LET'S DANCE.
RED...a new color...now how many does this make?
Question...
1. Would a small box of primary colors and a sketch pad help with what is being worked on with the theropist?
2.Do you think Kevin would try to draw some of what is going on inside of his injured brain?
Sometimes, I have heard, when one thing is taken away then another may appear. It's worth a try...if it's been done before... then... maybe...now...with the color theropy...it's...maybe...worth a try...again?
Just a suggestion...but if it will help Kevin to communicate...in any way or form....I think you may see where I'm trying to go.
RED....Hardiness, Valor, Courage, Rediness to Sacrifice...from Simpleswine....Power, Honor, Commanding Presence, Determination,
Anger and Irritation...from Miss Em...and more and more and...try not looking at the celing...please.
***********************
To Simpleswine...
"bite my Marine butt"....
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
tears running down face
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
fell off chair
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
gasp--gupl--wheeze--gasp.
Thank you!!!!!!!!
..for the image of some "Fool" STUPID enough to TRY to accomplish what was suggested.
I keep seeing those "Fools" crawling slowly away with a dented forehead and NO teeth.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
gasp-gulp-wheeze-gulp
OOOORRAAAHHHHHH!!!! MARINE
.....SEMPERFI!!!!
Welcome Home and Thank you for your Service to this Country, Warrior.
To Sue..US Army...Welcome Home and Thank you for your Service to this Country, Warrior.
Me, myself and I say thank-you for the welcome thoughts and no-non-sense attitude.
{mouse in pocket included} ;-)
Miss Em
Austell, Ga.
Anonymous said...
Moe do you bounce checks like Leslie did when she was in PA? I understand she's stressed taking care of Kevin but her family is near her now she can have alot of help and she needs to quit crying about having no money and learn to manage what donations she gets more wisely
August 1, 2009 12:13 PM
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ANONYMOUS IDIOT???? IT IS SO EASY TO WRITE THESE THINGS AND THEN NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO SIGN YOUR NAME......THAT'S OKAY. We all know your name . .. .. RICHARD (DICK)HEAD! We also know your IQ : 0 . . . We also know something else about you - you are a coward for writing this. We also know you have to be so desperately alone in your life you have to pick on Leslie and Kevin.
Did you contribute to Leslie and Kevin? No, probably not.
Are you a veteran? Did you sign on the dotted line to sacrifice yourself for the freedom of ohers? We all know the answer to that one too . . . .NO!
If you're not part of the solution THEN YOU'RE THE PROBLEM!
Hallie
Sorry Leslie - that person just really ticked me off. I wrote more than that and censored it before I hit publish your comment.
Please do not allow these idiots to keep you from being totally honest with us on this blog. We all love hearing about Kevin and what he is saying and doing. We also are here for moral (and vocal) support.
We're here for Kevin, a TRUE AMERICAN HERO, and his mom, who got him where he is today!
Keep up the good work!
Hallie
I wouldn't let any negative comments get to me. I think that you should continue to do what you believe is right with the knowledge that God is with you all, always. I also believe that perhaps people often tend to say something negative more often than they will take the time to say something positive. I appreciate the sacrifice Kevin made for our country - I won't forget it!
He is a HERO..he fought for America...and he deserves whatever it takes to give him the "Most" normal life he can get. I'd be glad to send him a game to play! (even if I don't buy one for my own family) My family did not sign their lives for this country, Kevin did, and he DESERVES every cent spent on him. My family sends care packages to soldiers overseas...and guess what...sometimes we inlcude stuff we don't buy for our own family,...why?? because they are HEROES and I want my daughters to understand the respect and attention that is earned by these HEROES !! Keep it up...you are doing great...and KEVIN--we are so proud of you. PROUD DONOR and have no complaints on how it was spent!! God Bless you, and as hard as it is, GOD Bless those that are negative as well...as we all know, they are the ones that need the most blessings. GOD is GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!
proudly signed by EMILY
Why should she quit asking for money when she needs it? Who cares if she bounces a check or two? What does any of this have to do with Kevin getting healthier and Leslie coping with all the changes and challenges in her life?
It's not easy to be thrifty with money when you're taking care of someone 24/7, living out of a suitcase in a state far from home and traveling a thousand miles to another state for surgeries.
Hey, anonymous coward, I'm wondering why you are spending your energy whining about her on this blog.
You must feel pretty guilty about not giving Leslie or Kevin money or you wouldn't be complaining about how she chooses to spend it, would you?
None of you know me but I know an asshole when I see one.
Leslie, I can't even begin to tell you how strong I think you are and how you have handled yourself with what has been handed to your family over this past year+...
it hurts me that someone is hurting you more with their stupid words!! I find it repulsive that anyone would question what you would do for your son and how hard you are working and I'm sorry you even had to read/hear any of that crap! I love ya... I have no idea what you are going through but I feel strongly that you are doing exactly what you need to be doing for you and for Kevin. Sending my thoughts over your way! mik
I have been reading your entire blog over the last week. I am hooked and can't stop reading. I and the wife of a wounded soldier. I know what you have been through in a smaller way, I know exactly what it is like to eat out everyday and how awful it is, I know what it's like to have people critize your spending. I know that any caregiver will do WHATEVER they can to bring quality of life to their warrior. I had no idea that Kevin could not spend any money on you. That is a disgrace. While living in D.C. we suffered financially but we are married so he could spend his money on me. I was appalled by finding out this information for other caregivers. Also I am sure the NMA pay stopped asap as it did for us. I got it for 1 month then we got assigned and I was accompying my husband at his next duty station. I know there are so many issues that need to be fixed with this system. But frankly people who are saying negative things about how you have cared for you son need to shut up. They truly have no idea. You are by far the best mother I know, in addition to my own =) I am praying for you. The caregivers bill will be started soon and I pray you are the first to get it.
Post a Comment