Well the surgeon's appt didn't come off as great news. (Ann - we got Dr Bernard; one of the guys you mentioned!). The doc told us that Kevin has multiple fractures and he figures that some (if not all) of it had never healed from the original date of injury.
Anyway, he said that Kevin's ankle bone has about 1/3 of the bone fractured off of the rest of the bone. There are also many other smaller fractures. Any of these can be causing pain and he suggested that we just let it go for a few weeks and see what happens.
He told us to let Kevin walk and do whatever because no amount of staying off of it is going to fix the issue. He told us that Kevin may feel better and not need surgery for a long time yet. It's really all about how Kevin can handle the pain.
BUT - Kevin will need surgery eventually. It may be next month, it may be next year, but it will happen someday.
When that day arrives, he would like to go in and see if he can clean up the fractures using various screws. If that doesn't work, he will just have to fuse the ankle bone to the shin bone. That would mean that Kevin would not be able to bend his ankle at all. He did tell me that it would affect his walk a little bit, but not much.
Damn! This is really not what we wanted to hear. Kevin was so upset when he heard the word surgery and I don't blame him. This is all just so exhausting.
When I think of all the things we still need to do I just want to sit here and cry. Here is a list of things I can think of (just off the top of my head):
possible foot surgery
facility to teach Kev independence
see new neurosurgeon
see new neuropsychologist
put Kev through detox
need to fix his eye surgically
burn scar laser treatments
looking into hyper baric treatments
find a cognitive rehab program
botox in his hand
(and let's not forget our daily regimen of therapy, therapy and more therapy)
Every time I formulate this little plan in my head on when to do certain things, all kinds of crap comes up emergently.
I just wish we could just live. Just go about our days like normal people. I think it's one of the reasons Kevin is always depressed here. When we are in Texas, our schedule is lighter and we can sometimes do things that are fun. Here, we are just too tired. There are so many therapy appts and doctors appointments that we are too exhausted to do anything else - even on the weekends.
Frankly, I think I just need to sit down and figure out our priorities. Like OT - is it really worth it? It's been 18 months today since he was wounded. The arm is no better now that it was. He still has basically no control. So why are we spending so much time trying to fix it? Really?
I think we need to find some time and energy to live a little. Not just exist for doctors visits and therapy appointments...
First 2 from the Nov kit!
12 years ago
7 comments:
AMEN! Live your lives.
Glad you met Dr.Bernard. He is head of the department and I think he does all the surgeries with Dr. Waggoner (who is a woman). He is great. Although, we were very happy with everyone in that department. The residents are very nice as well. They were the ones who came to change the dressings on Mark's foot every day and each was nicer than the next. I think you will be very happy with Dr. Bernard and his whole crew following Kevin. Hope it all goes well.
It terms of cognitive rehab/independence. Look into Project Victory. http://www.tirrfoundation.org/?id=1
TIRR Foundation and the Memorial Hermann|TIRR Challenge Program have joined together to provide rehabilitative care for military service members injured in Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. The program, Project Victory, seeks to enable soldiers with a traumatic brain injury regain skills and functions that were lost through their injury
Its in the Houston Area.
Goodness.......I would be totally overwhelmed. I read your blog religiously because as I told you before "it grounds me". Often when I read your blog, I fantasize what might happen if President Bush or VP Cheney would come live your life for 30 days??? The price of war close up, that will change some minds/hearts!!!
My prayers are with you. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your daily struggles. Laura RL
Oh gosh, Leslie. A lot of items on your list. I guess just prioritize.
Sometimes when I think about many things that bother me, I have to find the main thing (or two)that I can tackle and PUSH the other things away for another day. Just let them go for a day or a week, etc. If not, I just get all upset and down. To some, it is giving it to God, to others, it is just refusing to think about those things for the day.
Personally, I would love to see Kevin in cogitive therapy sooner rather than later - but that is just my preference (from the peanut gallery). For months now, I have felt that this therapy will bring you two such wonderful rewards.
You and Kevin are my heros!
Cathy M
My 2 cents worth.
I would give yourself a "Christmas vacation" at home in Florida for ONE MONTH. I would treat each day as if you were still in Texas. Shut everything else out unless someone gets sick and you NEED to see a doctor. I would lay off of the bicycle because it obviously aggravated Kevin's ankle. I would not mention the word surgery to Kevin anymore unless it is a for sure thing. Talking about the "maybe" only upsets him, which in turn you have to deal with him upsetting you. I would live each day as it comes and enjoy your month of vacation, at home. My Merry Christmas 2 cents worth to you. So sorry things cannot be easier. Let the New Year begin with a fresh start and see how you both feel then.
I so agree with you and the other posters here...there has to be a balance somewhere! It is just so hard and as the mom you feel like you don't want to let anything go that might help him Kevin get better. But I think it is ok and actually more than ok to re-evaluate now and then. I'm so sorry that it is all so overwhelming. I don't know how it could feel anything but overwhelming.
I hate to suggest you add to the list, but I think that you need to add "quality of everyday life" to the list somewhere and then figure out which other things might be negotiable for a while.
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